Well I think i found a title that might work- he is my diamond in the rough and there's a poem to go with it! This is long.... We've still been talking a lot about his "coming out" and "what we are." He tends to apologize for not being able to give me the boyfriend title- I asked him if he can't or won't and he said both. From what I've put together is that he is still unsure and scared shit about how his friends and family will take the news. I know we are all afraid of being rejected and it's a risk we all take no matter what we do when it comes with others-- with that, I took the bold step and asked his best friend if he would give his blessing if we were together, he didn't reply to me. But did tell my guy to hit on me lol but we dont know if it was in a joking way or serious. I'm sure the conversation will come up again between the 2 of them and I told my guy maybe it's a conversation he needs to have. He also thinks I'm going to tell his sister- I think she'd be the most accepting of him and might even suspect already- but again, that's not my place- but if he wants me to I will- as long as he doesn't turn it around and say I'm just crazy n in love with him but he's not interested- and that's the major reason I won't say anything- i'd rather tell her with him or least know he won't back down. At this point, I'm not questioning his love or feelings for me bc I know where he is. My only struggle is how long do I hang on? he's still with the girl- and has thought about me while having sex with her on a few occasions. She does not have a clue that we still have sex, roughly every 10 days and that I sometimes see him more than she does. All depends on how he's feeling what our scheds are etc. I know I'm taking a huge risk by still holding on but as I told him and he agreed: what we've been looking for in a woman, we found in each other- is it a matter of time before he's comfortable enough with himself that we can actually be together without him having a "cover girlfriend"? Sadly, I'm his other best friend and his lover at the same time. Trust me, we've tried not seeing each other, not talking, having some real distance and that has just magnified the connection between us- so staying apart did the total opposite. My own coming out took a long time- i don't know if i was in denial or what- but the diff between the 2 of us is the ppl in my life only care that I'm happy and they don't care how who or why. They're supportive loving and caring- I wish he had the same support from those in his own life. But I told him, if he were to join me, he'd have the same support system that i do I do love him and have for years- I'm kind of forcing him to face his feelings and not run from them as he tends to do- although having a g/f is another form of cowering from who he really is. I will leave you with the poem "diamond in the rough" and appreciate all and any feedback. As always, thanks for listening and I'm glad EC exists G “A Diamond in the Rough” From the beginning There was just something about you We instantly became friends Now we are drawn to each other Like bees to honey There’s a constant craving Just to see you Have my arms wrapped around you To feel your warmth in my arms To look you in the eyes Without saying a word I know we share the same Just with you around My life changes An instant smile appears on our faces Through all our ups and downs Irritations and frustrations That magnetic pull never fails We are drawn in Like the moon draws the tide Taken in by our eyes Distance and silence Become torture A piece of emptiness surfaces Only to increase the desire To be with you again If only for a moment
