Ready to come out?

Hard question =) - It's a very individual thing, but I suggest starting small. Tell one person you trust. Tell the whole truth - you can tell them you're sure if you're sure, or you can tell them you're questioning if you are.

It was really hard, but I did it. I first came out to a friend, and then to one other friend. Both were really close at the time, though we're not close anymore (not for that reason, just fell out of touch). I felt like I really came out for the first time with my mom. We're so close and it got to the point when I broke down crying over the phone and it just slipped out. But I really really needed those first two people as a practice.

At the time I came out to my first friend, I was questioning. The specific situation was that I had feelings for a specific person, and it was particularly complicated for a variety of reasons. I told her that I wasn't really sure what was going on but it was really helpful just to say it. And she took it really well. I remember I was so happy I was practically jumping up and down afterwards. Phew!

Taking the plunge is scary, but it feels so good. Baby steps make it feel easier in my experience.

I hope that was helpful, and let me know if I or others can be more helpful!

On a side note, I love Scotland. I stayed in Edinburgh and fell in love with it. Also I found the country particularly LGBT accepting, though I must confess I went during the Fringe haha.

 

Honestly, there was never a "right time" for me. It was more a matter of working up the nerve and getting it over with before I changed my mind. But beyond that, I would make sure you're comfortable with yourself and willing to hear and/or answer some weird questions.

 

If you want to tell people, and you're prepared for possible negative responses, then I say go for it. If you get a bad response, be happy anyway. Because you sure as fuck deserve it for braving the waters. Good luck! Alot of people say they just know when it's time to come out, take that as you will. I haven't really felt like that, but I did screw up my first coming out, haha. But she still took it well anyway.

 

One thing I've noticed is that if you start leaving out signs (be it paper with lgbt* themes, pictures, internet pages on a family computer, etc) and recognize that you are leaving them out, you're probably pretty ready That's not to say you'll be out within some length of time after starting, but if you don't mind too much that someone *might* (but won't necessarily) find some of the stuff, you should be good.

Also, highland or lowland?

 

I found this quote over the summer a little before I came out, and I think it's a really good one. To be honest, there's no real way to know when you're ready to come out... it's just something you feel. I guess you could describe it as a combination of being tired of hiding all the time, and being excited at the prospect of being open with people in your life.

As for when is a good time to come out... that's a little more calculated. This is when you think about who you're talking to, when and where, how they'll take it, etc. But if I can give you any advice... when you get that moment of motivation of really really wanting to come out to someone, run with it. We can come up with endless excuses on why we shouldn't tell someone out of our internal fear, so just use a little bit of rational judgement (i.e. it isn't a horrible time to tell someone), then put that aside and just do it. You'll feel infinitely better after you do. Sometimes you just gotta take the plunge.

But basically, you'll know when you're ready. Best way to describe it.

 

You can always tell someone close and trusted, but I don't think its good to come out until you are sure of yourself and ready to stand up to anything. If you have any substantial doubt or confusion left than you need to give it more thought (that's why I'm still in here). That said if you feel sure than go for it, just be sure you're ready to defend what you believe in every now and then when it goes badly.