So based on a conversation, well a few conversations, I had with my friend, I'm pretty sure she thinks I can change with help. Obviously this is untrue, and I know that. Three/four months ago when i came out as bisexual to her, she said she was shocked but she respected it. She has no reason to be uncomfortable around me, I mean I never mention girls in that means, ever. A few weeks ago, she was asking me something about it, which started her asking me other questions, which I didn't mind at all. I then told her that I was actually gay. Then, we were texting after school that day about it. Some things she said - "do you want this? i know it feels like a choice but i guarantee you there's a way out of it." "you can change it just not alone." "when you make the decision you don't want it anymore 150% and you want to be straight..." I know she's willing to help me, which I'm thankful for, and she's a great friend, but this isn't the help I need. I don't know if she's just trying to help me and i'm over thinking it, or if she isn't okay with it and wants me to become straight. She's been quiet lately, at least when I was at lunch the few days after that. I was absent this whole previous week, so maybe she wasn't as much when I was gone, but I don't know. I haven't really talked to her about it since.
to me your friend doesn't sound like she understands what being gay is/means, personally I would send her some websites or books to read on the subject or if you feel you can discuss how you don't have a choice in the matter, if you can get this message across then I'm sure she will be more understanding. From what you've said she doesn't sound malicious just needs educating. (this is why it needs to be mandatory for every school to explain LGBT issues)
I guess you're right. Although I have explained to her that this is not a choice, and it seems like she doesn't believe me. But she means well, she just needs to understand.
Yea, I agree with your last comment. I think she needs time. Also probably in her mind you did change (from bisexual to gay) so she might think you can change the other way around.
I will be surprised if you manage to convince your friend that change isn't possible. For those of who grew up believing that things like Courage, Exodus, etc can work... I mean, look at me - if I hadn't spent eleven years trying to change and found it unsuccessful, I never would have believed that it wasn't possible. Even after that eleven years, there is still a part of me that wonders, if I had stuck it out for another year or two would it have worked? and even though I KNOW that it's crazy, that it doesn't work, that trying to change really only causes harm to the person who is trying to change, I STILL have a hard time accepting it. she doesn't sound like she has the experience to know what she's talking about. she sounds like she is trying to be helpful, and loving, in her own way... but she is talking about something she doesn't really understand. with the friends I have who are still trying to convince me I can change if I just try harder or wait longer, I am simply being firm and making it clear that this is something I am not open to discussing. Or I am distancing myself from them, because for me I need to be around people who will help me change my own thinking, not reinforce a negative self-image for me. I would suggest just telling her that you are not open to discussing possibility of change, that attempts to change one's orientation are psychologically unhealthy and damaging, and that you do not want to go there. hopefully she'll respect you enough to let it go after that.
Hmm, well if she keeps denying that it's possible to change, I think you should either say you don't want to change, or just ask to drop the subject all together. But if you're still trying to convince her you can't change, then like Pilgrim said, it sounds like she just needs educating, most likely from multiple resources. I suggest maybe sending her this video along with whatever else you can find: [YOUTUBE=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fx4HYOunLc]What Homosexuality Is Not[/YOUTUBE] because it (as the title says) explains what homosexuality is not -- including a choice, a club, a preference, etc. However, it might be best to just drop the subject though and pretend it never happened. Also if that didn't work then try this link: What Homosexuality Is Not - YouTube
Look up the ex-ex-gays, including ex-leaders of the ex-gays, and send her links to what they have to say. It doesn't work, and it can make you crazy. If she won't stop pushing you that way, you might have to distance yourself from her. Just hearing the rhetoric from her could potentially be harmful to you.
