i mean im 14 years old. I know im gay ive kind of know for a while now, and i know i want to come out and one point or another. Ive actually been trying to come out to one of my friends the last few weeks but i always end up chickening out. And thats about the time i realized why am i so eager to come out? At this point in my life all coming pout would do for me would be being able to talk about hot guys and admit i like lady gaga and glee, but aside from that there are no benefits in coming out. Or so i thought until a week ago when i found out the girl im trying to come out to has a gay cousin.And well i dont know but maybe if i come out to her i would get to meet him, and i really want to meet him for two reasens (1) i want to meet someone like me and (2) i still dont know how old he is so if hes around my age maybe he could be my first boyfriend . So what im asking is that do you think its worth it to come out at my age? i could end up losing her as a friend and i really dont know her point of view on gay people (aside from that one time we talked about her cousin). Also like i said i dont know her cousins age so how can i bring it up without sounding too intrestedn:lol:
The first of these is an excellent reason to come out. The second, not so much. Some thoughts on why: Coming out is about more than just meeting potential boyfriends. As small as it sounds, being able to talk about guys you like or talk about shows you watch or music you like because of your connection to it as a gay person will all be very helpful for you. Especially for times when you feel lonely, or cut off, or like you're the only gay person out there and everyone is judging you, having someone to be "on your side" and in the know will be worth more than you would think. On the other hand, if you come out in order to try to date someone, you're placing a lot of pressure on them. All of a sudden, every time you get teased, or bullied, or every time a friend or family member turns their back on you, it's all because of this one person you came out for. It's easy to lose sight of the fact that it was your choice and they didn't make you do this. I would encourage you to come out at some point, to whomever you think is a good idea - it's a really healthy thing to do, and yes, it can even be a step along the road to meeting someone and having a boyfriend in the long run. But it shouldn't be the one thing required of you to get someone to hang on your arm. It's much more important than that. In the meantime, try talking to your friend more. If the subject of her cousin comes up again, ask her how she feels about it. There are lots of ways to ask that won't "give you away," so to speak. And if he is around your age, meeting another gay person could be really great for you.
There's a few questions you need to ask yourself before coming out. Will you be able to handle the ridicule that you will inevitably receive? Are you 100% confident in your sexuality? Will coming out make your life betetr or strengthen you as a person? If your answer is yes to all these questions, then come out. If not, you should reconsider.
Before coming out, consider all possible outcomes. ALL of them. And once you do that, try to think of how to respond appropriately. In other words, don't get defensive, or rude, or whatever if the person responds badly. Coming out is often a big step. The biggest being acceptance. (In my opinion). Determine if you're ready for it emotionally and mentally. Once people know, you'll have to deal with their reactions - good and bad.
