I want to come out to my roommate, sick of keeping it a secret

how about this...hey bro, i want to tell you something. i like guys. just wanted to tell you. im not into you or anything, but i just wanted to let you know so i didn't have to keep changing the subject. are u cool with that bro?

 

A good way to tell him might actually be to have him ask you. It's a little tricky, but can be done. And if he comes to the conclusion himself, it will probably be much less of a shock when you confirm it.

I actually came out to one of my sisters like this. I told her I had a big secret that I wanted her to try and guess, then gave her clues that pointed in the right direction. You don't have to be very subtle this way either, but it is still less out-of-the-blue than flat out stating, "I'm gay."

As for bringing it up, I imagine whenever there is a lull in conversation you could bring it up by saying something like, "So, there's something secret I've been wanting to tell you about me for a while now. Something kind of big. But I was wondering if you have any guesses what it might be."

Hope that helps and at least gives you some more ideas.

 

How well do you know this guy? Do you think he has a problem with gay people? If he doesn't and you know him pretty well it might be best to just blurt it out to him. I came out to a friend of mine by blurting it out randomly and we both had a good laugh.

If you don't know him that well try to figure out what his views on homosexuality are before telling him.

If he does have a problem with gay people you should be a little more cautious and maybe consider finding a different roommate.

Just my two cents! Sorry if I'm not much help.

 

You should only come out if you feel safe doing so. Maybe take a little more time to figure out what that "fucking faggots" thing really meant. In my most recent coming outs to people I'm somewhat close to/will spend a lot of time in the future with, I've been both pretty random and out of the blue, and it's worked alright for me so far.

For the two guys I'll be living with next year, but haven't met yet, I came out as follows:
First Guy
Went a little like this over text messages
Me: Hey I was wondering if you're a tolerant and openminded person.
Him: What do you mean?
Me: Do you accept gay people?
Him: Oh yeah, don't worry dude! It's okay if you're gay. In a roommate what I'm looking for is someone who isn't disruptive.

Second Guy
Went something like this over text messages
Me: Hey, so I was wondering if you had any gay buddies.
Him: Yeah, I have one, and he goes to UCLA, too.
Him: Why did you ask for?
Me: Do you think I asked for a reason?
Him: I dunno man, I just felt like it was a random question.
Me: Oh, well I like guys, that's why.
Him: (Blah Blah that's okay, i'm cool with it blah blah don't remember how exactly it went)

However, for both my future roommates, I haven't met them in person yet, so I took a gamble with not knowing anything about them at all, and coming out to them the first day I talked to them. It turned out well in both cases for me. I actually enjoy talking to the second guy a lot, but sometimes he doesn't know how to respond, and he's once responded by saying "I'm very, very, very straight." xD Funny guy.

Well, I also have another coming out with my roommate from last year. I tied it in with our current conversations like so:
Him: Everyone here is a closet-nerd.
Me: (Some witty comment about coming out as gay that I don't actually remember.)
This guy was pretty cool, too, but sadly I didn't realize how cool he was until the year was kinda over

And I have another recent coming out with a mentor of mine. I just texted him one night and I told him that I had something to tell him. I kinda hyped it up, asking if he could keep a secret without actually knowing what the secret entails. He responded by saying he didn't want to know if it was very private or embarrassing. I responded by saying that a mutual person we know said that I should feel safe letting him know something about me. My mentor guessed what it was without me actually telling him, and I never actually used the words "gay," "homosexual," "likes boys," or anything like that. My mentor just basically figured out what I was gonna say and started apologizing for letting the work environment get homophobic sometimes. Nice guy.

Well, I just offered some of my coming out stories, so you can see what I've tried before.
Good luck :king:

 

looking forward to see how this comes out. I really have the same concern with my roommate I just don't know how he'd react...good luck

 

Good luck!

 

what happened?

 

I came out to my roommate when we were talking about gay marriages being passed in different states back in February. He actually made it very easy for me since he said in the being he's for gay equality and has a gay room mate before. Best thing was our friendship never changed. If anything, our respect for each other went up since he was the first person I came out to. Hopefully your coming out will be as easy as mine was. If not, it's not the end of the world. He'll either come around eventually and respect your privacy, or you move on and find a new room mate. Don't stress yourself out and overanalyze every possible scenario or outcome. That way lies a lot of frustration and fear, and speaking from personal experience, not a fun place to be.

 

Thats great. I wish my roommates would of been like that. They were homophobic and rude toward gay people.

 

let us know how it goes!! I've got my fingers crossed for you!