I've been talking to this girl for about 8 months; we hit it off and now, we text and call each other almost everyday. We have so much in common and she's met my friends and family. However, I'm getting mixed signals from her, sometimes she just disappears on me. Whenever she's down, it seems like she pushes me away, which hurts because I'm trying to be there for her as a friend. I'm not really sure what she's going through and I do not want to be pushy. I like her a lot, we've hung out plenty of times and I'd love to make her mine, but I'm terrified!! I wanna tell her how I feel, but I'm good at sabotaging the good in my life. She made it a point to tell me she has a problem with sabotaging herself, as well. So, maybe she is just as afraid as I am. I'm not really good at expressing my feelings - something I'm working on now. I'd rather just remain friends and keep my feelings a secret forever, but it'll kill me to see her with other girls. I'm not the jealous type at all, but she's absolutely beautiful, sweet, and nice - pretty much, the girl you'd take home to meet your parents. She gets hit on left and right and she could have anyone she wants. One thing I refuse to do is chase someone, I'm too old for that even though I love a challenge. I'm not sure what I'm asking really...I guess I'm just afraid of getting hurt, I mean, who isn't? :-/ I keep dreaming about her, which then leads me to fantasize about a life with her that may never come true. I should also mention that lately, I've been surrounded by friends of mine who lie so much that I'm starting to second guess her as well. I know that's unfair, but gosh I can't help it. I just wanna crawl back in my closet where things were less complicated. I'm trying to put myself out there, but now, I kind of change my mind. Help! Any advice and or suggestions are greatly appreciated, thanks
I tend to self-sabotage as well... She sounds like a great person. Has she ever made any passes towards you? Do you know if she likes other women, or if she's out? If you don't yet know if she likes women, then try to find that out first. Maybe you can come out to her first, and see how she reacts with that, and go on from there.
Oh, yeah she's out and she's gay. We've known about each other since day one, we've even made out multiple times. It's great, but that doesn't really mean much, people make out with other people all the time. I'm trying to deal with the emotional aspect of our relationship because technically she's still a friend. I want to be more than just a friend she makes out with, you know? I'd love to be exclusive with her, but I'm not sure if I can trust her :-/ I think too much sometimes.
Have a talk with her about your feelings. If you can't just see her as a friend, then stop thinking about her as more than just friends. You know it's only setting up more sabotage and pain for the future.
I'll wait until I see her in person to discuss my feelings for her. I just want to know where I stand and if there's a possibility of us getting together, if not then it's best for me to know now. Thanks for the advice, you've been very helpful.
