Hi there, I came out to my family about a month and a half ago due to severe anxiety and depression from the whole "sexuality" issue in general. I don't really like to label myself, as cliché as it sounds, and my sister told me I didn't have to...just "take it as it comes." The overall reception to my sexuality was good. I was accepted by all, though I do understand that my parents had some initial struggling, specifically my mum. My sister told me it didn't bother her at all as we're both from a generation where it's become normal. My dad told me it was okay and that he thought I was very brave. My mum called me a daft sod (jokingly) for worrying about it and said it was fine with her. However, the coming days and weeks afterwards I just spiralled into chaos. I had it into my head that no one accepted me, and longed for constant reassurance and closeness to them. Things are much better now - however, the lingering feeling that I'm treading on egg shells around them is still there, with my parents mostly. My mum occasionally asks how I'm feeling now, at which I will say it doesn't really bother me anymore - "I'm not worried" and she tells me that's good, however last night we were watching a police drama on TV (UK: Scott and Bailey) in which one of the lead police officers discovers her fresh-out-of-prison younger brother selling himself to married men for sex. My mum seemed a little quiet with me after wards, but I honestly don't know if it was in my head. I almost had a feeling that she felt awkward and worried and was wondering if that was something I'm going to do "because I'm gay" (it's no surprise that parents never really understand their childs homo/bisexuality). So...what should I do? I feel like I'm treading on egg shells all the time, and I really want to know what my parents, specifically mum, are thinking, but I don't want to keep bringing it up and I don't want them to think I've rellapsed anxiety wise which I haven't. I'm just a bit confused at the moment... I don't know if it's all in my head again, or if I need to talk to my mum about her possible "awkwardness" with the subject. Since I came out just over a month ago, is the information still fresh? We've always been a very close family.
From the sound of it, you seem to just be a little too stressed out. It sounds like your family accepts you (at least for the most part). You just need to find a way to relax and let it all sink in. Don't get yourself worked up over nothing.
u seem sensitive to it. maybe they are awkward but who wouldn't be. they love u and want u happy. they are acting as tho nothing has changed because it hasn't with u. they still love u. everyone (even u) is still getting used to the idea.
To me it does seem like it's all in your head. There's the constant need of reassurance, believe me I understand how you feel. I'm out to my family and have been for years now, so for you, this is all new territory you're treading along. You probably didn't think they would take the news so well, so yes, you're fishing for a problem. I get that way too sometimes, while watching TV with my loved ones or friends and there being a gay theme on my favorite TV show. I often feel awkward and I wonder what's going through their mind. I guess it just reminds them that I am gay, but they never mention anything about it. I used to make my gayness such a big deal, but not so much anymore even though it's a huge part of who I am. My struggles in life were due to the fact that I did not want to accept myself as gay. I expected my family and friends to have a problem with it. And when they didn't, I created a problem for myself and it was all in my head. So, there's no need to walk on eggshells, especially if they're genuinely okay with it. They accept you, be happy! Some of us aren't so lucky to have such understanding parents and siblings. Good Luck!
Wow pinklove3ly that is some great advice. I find I do that all the time. I create a struggle within myself that hasn't even happened. Its interesting how the mind works but I've been told that I create a scenerio in my head and think how the person will respond but I never give them the chance to respond.
I faced most similar problems with my friends, or rather I made these problems up. From the date on I came out my friends have become pretty careful with the word "gay", as if as I would be offended just by the use of it. Somehow it seems they didn't quite know how to handle the situation and had become overly careful. Something similar may be happening with your family. They do not want to offend you, misstreat you or make inapropriate statements. But I'm pretty sure they'll get over this phase when they have learnt that you still are the very same person in general, but now sharing the truth of your sexuality with them.
