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Finally Came Out to My Friend....

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by time4change, Mar 27, 2012.

  1. time4change

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    I finally had enough courage and came out to my best friend. Although I thought she was going to be completely against me, she has actually been the most supportive person I have told thus far. At the same time, I can't help but think about what she really feels. She talks all positive now about being gay, but I've known for years what her feelings were. She never understood how a person could be gay. Always thought it was a phase that someone was going through. I find it hard to talk to her even though she does want to talk to me and brings up the subject. Am I being stupid for feeling this way? I had never told her (for years) because I thought she would reject me. Now I don't know what to think. I'm still confused and having a hard time accepting myself. It is very hard for me to make friends and sometimes I want to call her and talk to her but I'm not sure about her sincerity. Any advice would really help.
     
  2. secretguyX

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    Well it's great that you told her! Sometimes people's opinions change on gays when they find out someone they love is gay themselves. And she may have put those views aside so that she can be there for her friend. I know how you feel, with worrying about if she's actually okay with it. But if she's talking positive about it, and brings up the topic herself, then don't worry so much, I'm sure it's fine. If you want to talk about it, then don't feel like you can't - i mean it's already brought up by her. If not, then tell her that.
     
  3. dreamcatcher

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    I agree with secretgirl. It's likely that she changed her mind after finding out you were gay or she may have just been repeating things about gay people that she heard from her family/friends. Sometimes people say or agree with certain ideas because that's what they've been told to believe, not because they truly believe it (I"m hoping that made sense). Either way, you should just say, "hey I'm having a hard time dealing with this. Is it ok if I talk about -insert lgbt related stuff-" and then begin there.
     
  4. time4change

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    Thanks secretgirl and dreamcatcher! Your words give me hope. I have to move on and stop living in my head but learn to accept who I am. I guess if I was more OK with myself maybe I wouldn't be having these doubts about my friend. I have to say its hard after hiding this secret for years from her to all of a sudden talk to her about it. It makes it even harder that she asks me questions that I myself don't know the answers to. I guess I have to take it one day at a time.
     
  5. secretguyX

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    No problem, I'm glad they did! It can be difficult to talk about it after being to scared to for years, but it is also quite relieving. But if you don't know the answers to them, then just tell her that. She'll understand. But you should take it one day at a time, that's a great outlook!
     
  6. TroubledRyan

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    She may have also been really curious about it. Thinking its a phase is common for people who don't have a gay person to talk to. She finally has a close friend that she can ask questions. It may seem weird at first, but I believe it should strngthen your friendship, since she wasn't put off from it to begean with.