Title says it all. I quite literally feel like I'm not 'being out' right. I mean, I said I'm out, and I know that just means that if someone asks, I'll tell without (much) hesitation, buuuuuut... I dunno. Maybe I was expecting something else to happen. The only reason I feel this is that since I declared myself as unofficially out to my immediate circle of friends, nothing much has happened. There's one girl, for example, who's in my specific program (of multiple options), and we get along and work well together. As such, she's probably going to be one of those people I work with on projects for the next 3 years or so. Walking along campus, I was explaining something else and mentioned "...my coming out too..." 'cause it pertained to the topic at hand. ...and then I double-checked with her later that day to make sure she was okay with it. I mean, aren't I supposed to not care who knows? Just say it and if people pick up on it, they pick up on it? Maybe it's just because that was the first time it ever really came up since. I feel like I won't be able to just say it without really ever caring. At least not to people who aren't complete strangers.
Not caring who knows is probably the ideal, but it isn't realistic for a lot of people. My friend likes to say that coming out isn't an event, but an ongoing cost-benefit analysis between honesty and vulnerability. I'm out of Facebook and to most of my close friends, but I don't talk about liking guys with plenty of my friends and I definitely don't volunteer the information in a lot of situations.
When I came out I kind of expected more I guess, even if it was bad reaction, but most of the people were just like, oh ok. There isn't really a wrong way to be out, try not to worry too much about it.
Eh, thanks. It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one. I guess there was a (evidently wrong) preconceived notion on what my life would be like once I was 'out'. Now that that's shattered, I can move on
ME TOOO!!! I've told people really casually that I'm 'friends' with but not really close with!! And am really worried about it or feel awkward. In my case (not yours) sometimes I want to take it back. And Mogget that's a great comment. Also it really depends on the other person! I talk about hot girls to one of my guy friends all the time, and another one I can't do that with.
Like everyone else have said, there really isn't a level of "outness" that you must maintain or achieve. Everyone goes around being out in their own way and as long as that person is happy with the situation then there isn't anything wrong with that So, do you like your level of "outness" (sounds like a video game ) or would you rather increase it decrease it a bit? There isn't really a correct answer so just go with what you feel comfortable. Also, keep in mind it can change for some people through out their lives. Also, keep in mind that if you are fresh out of the closet is going to take some time to get used to the feeling of you being gay no longer being a secret or a big deal at all. As time goes by, you might notice that you will start relaxing about who finds out or who takes it well or not. Enjoy it, though! That's the main purpose of coming out.
I admit I expected more when I came out to my friends, but now it's like I never told them. To be honest, I like it that way because our friendship has largely stayed the same.
I agree with many of the responses above. I think part of that anticipation for something more is that those of us who are gay were the ones keeping the secret. To the people we came out to, it's life changing to us; but, to a far lesser extent to them.
