Ok...alright! I can do this... Um...well, I am thinking that maybe, possibly, I could tell my dad about not being sure of my gender (which is partly true). I won't drop the "I'm a guy!" bomb on him. I plan on leaving that until I'm an adult and more sure of myself. Safety first. But am I rushing it? The only reason I want to say anything is because my mood is starting to become unpredictable. This is starting to take a toll on not only me, but the relationships with my parents. Mainly my mom. And I do feel pretty horrible for letting myself lose control, but the things that she says...yeah, that's no excuse, but it's hard to remain calm when someone is almost bashing you with their words. I should just get used to it, right? The reason I want to tell my dad is because he's more calm and laid-back. He listens. My mom is a volcano. That is the best way to put it. But should I do it? Or is waiting a better option - given my age and everything?
I don't think it is necessarily too soon. I am not entirely sure of myself, but I have told a few people. For me it was just really good to tell a few people so that I actually had people to talk to about it with in real life. It didn't feel right to hide such a part of myself from everyone (though that was a smaller part of my decision to tell them). This may sound bad, but I really think you have to do it for you and when you are ready first. I would suggest not telling those who you think may react very negatively until you have a few people who understand (if possible).
Here's my experience, in case it helps: I told my mom I'm genderqueer. She's pretty relaxed about things like that, so I thought she'd be okay with it, and she was. I'm really glad I told her. We've had some good conversations about my gender, and my relationship with her is much better than it had been. Later I told my dad. He's not so relaxed about it, and doesn't want to talk about it. Now I'm wishing I'd broken it to him more gently. I'm still trying to figure out how to fix my relationship with him. If you're not sure how your dad will react, you could try bringing up the subject without talking about yourself. See how he talks about genderqueer/trans/questioning people in general, before he knows you're one of them.
If you think it would make your life worse by telling them, then don't- but at the same time, if you feel like you are ready to tell them and you really really want them to know, then do it. What I'm trying to get at is if you really think telling them would jeopardize your relationship, then measure the effects of that against how badly you want to be able to tell them. I'm sorry if that was confusing. Personally, I waited until I was 100% sure of who I was to come out for the first time (to my friends). I haven't gotten around to the parents yet... Is there anyone else you've talked to about this? Friends, or other family members?
