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Parents going through a mixed grief stage?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Gleeko0, Mar 30, 2012.

  1. Gleeko0

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    Is it so hard to predict how your parents are progressing ? All i have to do now is wait and see how they progress, what else will i do ? I can not help, i could just make it worse if i wanted (telling them i have a boyfriend for example) :confused: .

    This: Parent/Family Stages of Grief - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

    I can not tell where my parents are, do they always go through ALL stages at the same time? Because I noticed many signs of that. Like my Dad acting hopeless saying theres nothing more he can do, saying "I have to find what was my mistake", crying, and stuff like that, showing different signs of grief, sadness, anger, also saying we are going to move to another town tomorrow or as soon as possible, now he seems more calm and isn't talking about moving, that seemed like a random desperate decision. My mom on the other hand has been much more ignorant about it (if you ask me)..saying there might be a cure or something, that i am unexperienced and i need to try other things before i "decide" what i like, is that a form of bargain? :eusa_doh: She has known it for longer than him.

    I'm confused :help:.

    They have to deal with their own minds now ... I can't do anything else, but watch and see if the psychologist will help...thats if he wants to go, because I'm possibly the only one with the mind "sick" here :bang:
     
  2. Chip

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    The stages are often not sequential. People will move forward and revert back, they will get stuck in one stage, and yes, they can feel multiple feelings at once. Both parents sound like they're moving into the "bargaining" stage, and your dad may be experiencing the "grief" stage as well. But depending on how long it's been... if it's less than a month or two... this would be quite normal.
     
  3. Gleeko0

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    Thanks...

    Yeah, my dad knows it for a few days, and mom a few months.
     
  4. TheAMan

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    Yeah it seems like they are in strong denial about it. Normally they would have let up by now but I guess the way they feel is really strong. Still, I have faith that they will eventually come around.
     
  5. rx79g

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    My parents were like that too a month or so ago. Or to be more specific my mom was like that. Being just a few more months down the road from you (and of course not knowing your parents) I would say just hang in there and whatever you do don't drop communication with your parents. They will get used to it and then they'll get ok with it. It takes time and all you can do to help is show them you're happy the way you are, because parents usually just want their kids to be happy.