I posted about this a while back. I was trying to get to the bottom of why I watched straight porn but only thought about being with boys when I was sleeping with my girlfriend. Well the other day I spent the better part of an hour searching the internet for something that would turn me on and then it happened. I asked myself why does it take so long to find something that interests me? I don't think I'm actually that picky. I think it has more to do with me trying with all my might not to be attracted to men. The thought process goes something like: "if I get off to straight porn then I must be straight". Of course all this does is confuse me. I think to myself maybe I don't like boys; And then I see one that I fancy and it's back to the drawing board! It's amazing how powerful an insight can be. Now that I understand why I look at that porn I don't feel the need to look at it anymore. I'm still not that comfortable with the gay stuff but it's a start. C.
That's a pretty powerful insight. And yes, the internal denial mechanisms we all have can be pretty complex and astounding. It may yet take some time to be comfortable with the idea of actually being gay... but that's ok, there's no timetable you have to meet.
Ooh, I'm glad that some things are beginning to become clearer for you. When I look at straight porn, I'm mostly only looking at the guys :king:
I've had similar thoughts.. if I get off to it , then I must be straight.. but I like gay porn so much more and am so much more attracted to guys in real life as well. and I usually look at the guys in straight porn too