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Now what

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by coastgirl, Apr 1, 2012.

  1. coastgirl

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    I wrote about this girl before in these threads:
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/suppo...ded-really-depressed-upset-crush-related.html
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/support-advice/58449-how-not-so-melancholy-crush-related.html

    In a nutshell, I thought maybe she might return my feelings although I was kinda getting mixed signals - I have been crushing on her for a while. Then I came out to this group of friends right before she left to go traveling for a while. Right before I left I basically made a pretty big effort to go see her before she left.

    While she's been gone on her trip we kinda texted here and there at first, and then she started texting me and sending me voice messages on WhatsApp. One night we talked for an hour on WhatsApp, then two nights after that she started up a FB chat with me that went on for 2 hours. She kept saying she wanted to hang out when she got back home. Then she sent me a few more texts, and then texted me when she was coming home. Then she started playing that Draw Something iphone game with me when all our friends got it.

    But then I sent her a WhatsApp yesterday just to try to initiate contact with her since she had always been initiating with me. I just said her name (we kinda just say each other's names - it's our friend group's way of saying hi instead of saying Hello). But she didn't respond. But she commented on a FB picture of mine and still played that iphone game with me.

    So now I'm ultra confused. Why would someone hit you up quite a bit and then not respond when you hit them up? Is this a lost cause? Maybe she just didn't feel like talking or something, or didn't feel like a response was necessary? Or maybe she never got it (although it's 90% likely she got it) So frustrating.

    NOW WHAT? :bang:
     
  2. Tetraquark

    Tetraquark Guest

    I wouldn't read too much into it by itself. Like you said, there's a lot of potential reasons for her not responding. You could ask her about it, or you could give it a few days and then try to initiate contact with her again. If she responds that time, then she whatever reason she had for not responding this time was probably benign.

    What you need to watch out for is a pattern. In your first post you said she being kind of flaky. Has she gotten better or worse since then, or is she still acting basically the same? Is she like that with everyone?
     
  3. coastgirl

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    Thanks. She's not usually flaky with me and usually responds. So I don't know.

    Last night I got a super late text from her thanking me for this package of candy I had given her from my vacation to Switzerland. She said she had it with her for a while and she had finally eaten it. Then we just texted a few more times because she was wondering why I was up so late.

    So I'm just super confused. Argh.
     
  4. silverhalo

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    I think probably when you sent her that message she was just busy, sometimes it just happens, as to whether or not she likes you I still think it could go either way, but I would just keep going as you are doing, but try not to read too much into anything, when you like someone, or when you are in the closet you start reading into every last full stop and everything.

    When are you going to see her again?
     
  5. Tetraquark

    Tetraquark Guest

    I agree with silverhalo. It sounds like things are still going well between the two of you, so there's probably no reason to worry. Just keep doing what you did before.
     
  6. Maxis

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    I agree with everyone else. Maybe give it more time or ask her about it later. There might even be some sort of misunderstanding and she didn't get the message. You never know. Also, don't worry too much about it. It's just one message. ^^
     
  7. coastgirl

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    Thanks for the advice and replies. I am too chicken to even text her to ask if she's still coming back this week. Ugh. I'm such a pansy.
     
  8. silverhalo

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    You could just text her and say hey when are you back? Or if you have some free time when you are back it would be cool to catch up or see a movie or something. You can make it really casual and friendly, I mean even if you didnt have a crush on her you could still want to see her as a friend.
     
  9. coastgirl

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    I texted her last night about something I got recently that we have to use together when she's back. She responded positively...it didnt turn into a conversation but thats ok. baby steps. thanks for the support and encouragement!!