What's the difference between identity and behaviour?

I'm not really sure I totally understand what you're asking here but I'll do my best. Your question is sort of broad.

Identity is whatever label you feel most accurately describes who you are as a person. By that I mean your feelings and attractions towards either the same or opposite sex--asexual, gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, lesbian, biromantic, transgendered, 'homoflexible'--whatever term you want to use you're entitled to use. Only you can name what you are, no one else has the right to do so. Identity goes deeper than your bones. It's the most naked truth in your heart and mind. Underneath everything else it's what you know is right.

Behavior is exactly what it sounds like--your behavior. You can identify as any label you want even if you're not currently acting on those feelings, even if you never plan on acting on those feelings. Even if you hate those feelings. Even if you've renounced them all, joined a convent, and gave your body to God. Identity isn't going to ever change. When you take behavior into account you simply place an adjective in front of it--you're a slutty gay, a celibate lesbian, a monogamous bisexual. Like that.

Something to remember is that, although most people find that labels sum up their identity pretty well, some people don't feel comfortable with any label at all and that is perfectly alright. Sexuality is a spectrum, and some people find that they feel more comfortable with some labels only some of the time, and that's alright too.

I think the most important thing to walk away from this thread with is that you shouldn't worry about things like this too much. Do whatever makes you happy.

 

Like Kidd, I'm not entirely sure what it is you're looking for in an answer but I'm going to try and answer anyway

Identity is what you feel about yourself and what you see in yourself. For example, I identify as a gay male. On a smaller scale, I also identify as pop-music lover, cat lover, and simple person. At it's core, identity is what you feel you are (it could also be said that identity is who you are, but that's arguable).

Behaviour sort of acts upon identity. Not fully, mind you, but it has a base around it. As a gay male, my behaviour is typically more relaxed then a females (not saying that all females are uptight), and I also find myself staring at attractive males as well (both behaviours that are based on my identity).

Does that make sense? Probably not. I tried

 

I would say that identity is who you know yourself to be, while behavior is what you show to the world. In turn, the world will form its own idea about your identity, based on your behavior.

The problem, if identity and behavior don't match up, is that sooner or later your identity and the identity that other people assume you have will be different, which will make it hard for you to act in a way consistent with your own identity. Plus, it will make people all the more surprised when you do act in accordance with your actual identity.

As for what to do about it...that's the whole point of the coming out process, as I understand it. Is that what you're getting at?

 

Identity is who you are while behaviour is your reaction towards things. at least that's how I understood it.