gay, bi, or natural

The only label that matters is the one that he chooses for him self.

Does it really matter who he likes? He clearly likes you and that is the important part.

--Edit to add. All guys have the same parts. There is a reason that guy guys like ass play. It feels good. Most straight men don't engage in ass play because they they think it challenges their sexuality. Which couldn't be further from the truth.

 

I agree with starfish. Does it really matter? Do you like/love him? If you like/love him, it really shouldn't matter. He likes you and if he trusts you he'll be forthcoming about anything he has not told you. And, again, it shouldn't matter if he does tell you if he's bisexual or homosexual or is simply kinky. You two are together, that's what should matter. If you don't like his desired position on anal play, talk to him about it.

Edit 1 : Also, not to be a bitch or rude or anything, but phrases like "tranny" and "he-she" are derogatory and sort of offensive (in my opinion). It would be nice if you could refrain from using them.

Edit 2 : What starfish said is true, men have the prostate gland: when stimulated it can result in sexual pleasure. All men have it, and no matter what kind of guy you are, stimulation of the prostate gland can feel very nice and even result in an orgasm. So it's not weird, it's just another something that can be stimulated to bring about pleasure!

Good luck to both of you.

 

sounds like to me he definitely is interseted in doing something sexual with a human that has male parts.

 

It may or may not mean anything. For all we can tell, he's a MtF lesbian (not kidding, and it's actually more common than you may think.) Or a perfectly straight, perfectly male guy who just tried it on the grounds of "not asking my GF to do anything I won't be ready to try myself" and had discovered that he's in that lucky minority who actually feel better orgasms when receiving, and now desperate to figure out how to get that from a woman.

Or in other words, preference for certain sex acts doesn't tell about orientation much. Either way. Quite a few gays don't like anal. (The exact figure varies from 1/4 to more than half, depending on whose studies you trust.)

The porn he watches though is a slightly different matter. This kind of porn can be watched (and filmed) in many ways. Some straight guys watch it for the simple fact that some of the MtF pornstars are, well, girlier than any genetic girl would ever be. I shouldn't need any explanation on why this might be attractive. On the other hand, there is some porn that is more about role-reversal and porn-watchers who like it exactly for role-reversal aspect. If this is that kind of porn, well, it still might mean he's basically a straight guy who likes role-reversal. (Although it's less likely.)

However, this is all idle speculation and not a real question. The real questions are "does he want me, or is he just using me as a 'beard?'" and "will he cheat with 'the other team?'" All I can say, that you're the woman on the ground, with your facts and your intuition at your disposal, and so no one can answer them better than you. Does he look like a cheating type? (meaning all honey until AFTER you're "hooked," and all "romantic" in a creepy "you're the only human being in my life, and so should be I to you" way. The latter is an EXCELLENT cover for all sorts of shenanigans. ) Does his courtship seem natural, or something he obviously learned from an advice book? Why did you break up the 1st time? Why do you think this time will be different?

And, this might seem harsh on the guy... But ask him, in a non-confrontational way. Yes, it's a very uncomfortable thing to confess, so some slack should be cut, but if he answers with an obvious BS about his nephew using his computer, or whatever, - RUN. Doesn't matter what his sexual orientation is. Honesty and lies to someone you plan to spend the rest of your days with aren't dependent on sexual orientation, gender identity and tastes in bed either. He may change, but not if he keeps being rewarded for bullshitting his loved ones.

---------- Post added 3rd Apr 2012 at 10:38 AM ----------

P.S. The latter of course depends on how exactly you learned what's on his computer. If you spied on him, I would advice him to run from you...

 

i'm just going to be frank, pardon the crudeness or profanity

A very large percentage of straight men enjoy arse play. That doesn't mean anything when it comes to a man's sexual orientation. A friend of mine works in the sex industry as a dominatrix, the men she deals with are primarily straight, and most of them love a bit of rearguard action.

As for the porn, same story imo. Sex is pretty fascinating to all of us in different ways. I don't mind shemales, they're pretty damn cool, i'd like to meet one, and if things turned out well, i'd imagine all manner of fun could be had, as much as it could be with anyone else. Maybe for him it's just a little bit exotic or exciting, like it's probably always going to be out of reach, so it's fun to fantasise about.

Keep in mind it could be just as likely he fantasises about BEING a shemale as it is he fantasises about fucking one (or being fucked by one).

Long story short, you just won't know if you don't ask. You can hazard guesses based on behaviour, but there's nothing like earnest talking, and it might be fun and a good experience for both of you! I certainly love to share sexual fantasies with partners, you might enjoy his and he might enjoy yours for mutual benefit. Learning can be fun =D

 

I'm with Pseudojim on this. You really, really, really need to talk frankly about this. That's one of the situations where poor communication kills. I'm not very good at suggesting how exactly you can approach this talk, but there must be one.

Also, although it's unlikely, he might be gay, but still in denial of his sexual orientation. I doubt it, because, well, experiments like these usually aren't done in denial, so he almosrt certainly is at least questioning (or again, perfectly straight, just very much into anal. )

 

im going to go on a limb here and recommend that you have a frank discussion about what he likes. it does not have to be accusatory in nature but i think given the sex acts and porn so far, its safe ground to ask him if he may be interested in people with male parts too or have an intersts in pursuing this in reality or is it just more fantasy based. since you have been down this road before with someone else, i think i would personally feel more comfortable knowing before getting serious with someone else that may eventually want a body part i did not posses. sure there are sex toys but you may not even be comfortable with those in the bedroom. jsut talk about it and see what he says. if you can't talk about sex with someone you're having sex with, you probably shouldn't be having sex with them.

 

For the record, i'm betting it turns out he's straight, or at the very least straight-leaning bi

 

sounds like its going to work out then. YAY.