I always considered myself either asexual or straight my whole life. I never kissed a boy, but recently I kissed my best friend, Alice. At first I was freaking out because I really liked it. But I'm still in the confusion stage of really not knowing what it is that I want. So Alice suggested that I try kissing a guy, and I said I wasn't sure if I wanted too. She came back at me with "What's the worst that could happen?" and "Don't knock it til you try it." But the thing is, I used to have dreams sometimes where I'd kiss a guy, but now, I'm having dreams where I kiss a girl. And then when I wake up, I'm cranky because the dream wasn't long enough, but the butterflies in my stomach are out of control. SO, now I think I found what I want, and don't really need to try anything else, but I value logic, and Alice's logic is basically unassailable. I just don't know what to do. :bang:
I'm not an expert here. I'm sure someone else with more experience and knowledge will join in with better advice, but... 1. Sometimes we are "attracted" to the opposite sex because we really are or because our culture sort of expects us to be. It is sometimes tough to sort out between the two early in life. 2. I completely understand the butterfly thing. But sometimes the flutters you feel may be because of the newness of it. Or it may be because you're going to that "forbidden" area and that has excitement all its own. And again, it's tough to sort that out when you are just beginning to feel these things. First, don't worry about things. If you try to kiss some strange guy just to experience a kiss, there won't be the emotional attachment to the sensual act. It won't be the same as kissing someone you have an emotional attachment to. Just free yourself from expectations. When the time is right to kiss a guy you have feelings for...if it does come...you'll know it. THEN you'll have two comparable experiences to compare. Good luck!!!!
Tracker that sounds like pretty good advice to me, don't knock what you have to say! I can see why you're confused, and logic is good, however logic and feelings don't like to be compatible (they're confusing like that)! So I think that maybe just 'feel' how you feel, don't try to think why or anything, just allow yourself to feel and be aware of what you're feeling. Let everything come naturally and just go with the flow, it's best not to force your feelings! DON'T seek a guy out for the sake of it! Good luck in trying not to be confused
Well, actually, Alice said she has a guy in mind, but he's my best guy friend. (I'll call him Josh) The other thing is that Josh is Alice's boyfriend. And he actually wants to kiss me, but we're like brother and sister (or, at least, that's how I see it). So there is an emotional attachment, just not a romantic one. But I don't have a romantic attachment to Alice, either; we, too are just friends. It was basically an experimental kiss, and that's what it would be with Josh. I know I can get past the weirdness, but...still. Alice said the only reason she suggested Josh is because he's willing, and (since he's taken and we're just friends) I know that he's not some pervert with the wrong intentions.
Her logic is definitely sound, the thing is, you arent Spock. Don't go into it because it's the logical choice, do it only if you really want to, and even then I'd advise against kissing this Josh guy, while you may be more comfortable with him, it could lead to some complicated situations later on.
How many straight people kissed/made out with/went to bed with somebody of the same sex, because they "shouldn't knock it 'til you tried it"? They just didn't have any interest. It doesn't sound like you have much interest in doing anything with guys, so don't. The end. Lex
You don't need to try it to be able to knock it, you just...know. As said above, straight people don't need to try gay sex to see if they like it or not because they just know they don't. You're either a confused bisexual who is struggling to distinguish the levels of your attraction to both genders, like me and so many others, or you're completely gay and are hoping that when you try it, that will change.
