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Pressure :(

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Pilgrim is hot, Apr 3, 2012.

  1. Pilgrim is hot

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    So for the last couple of months I have been feeling more comfortably about who I am, since last week I have been planning to tell my mom over the next couple of days that I'm gay, then I was planning to tell my dad on the weekend. I was feeling quite good about it, nervous but good as I felt I was pretty much ready.

    But I told my sister on the weekend about my plans and she has told both my mom and dad that I really need to talk to them, my mom is all moody because she asked me and I said it was nothing and my dads asking what I want to talk about. I don't know why but now my confidence seems to have gone, I mean I feel really pressured to come out now and feel like I have taken a couple of steps back, I mean I arranged to go see my dad especially and now I feel like it's coming too soon, even though I know who I am. Why is it so hard just to say those two words I'm Gay, argh this really sucks :icon_sad:
     
  2. shy

    shy
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    (*hug*) I wish you all the best for your coming out.

    Pressure really sucks. I hate it, but it keeps me going. It helpes me to find the best strategy through a hard time. And at some point I will finally be all the stronger for it because I made it.

    Not thinking about your coming out would probably be quite similar to a denyal. I wouldn't do that. If you have the time to think about it you could try to think of a strategy how you actually want to get to the point of saying these three words. It may calm your mind about it and you will even appear more confident when telling your parents. Even if you should struggle at speaking it out loud your parents are more likely to see how much your sexuality means to you, how you have come to accept yourself as you are, that you really want to share your live with them and how difficult it still is to tell somebody.

    You may tell them that you still are their son, how much they mean to you and how difficult it was for yourself but that you had to figure this out on your own.

    For you I really hope your parents will be supportive and accept you as you have developed. (*hug*)

    shy
     
  3. Mlpguy88

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    You probably feel pressured because they now expect you to talk to them about something important, so it seems like there is no going back. It's kind of like, now it's happening so it becomes real. From what you said it sounds like your ready to tell them but that thought is terrifying. If you feel ready to tell them, then do it. However if you don't feel up to it right now then maybe think of something else important that you can talk to them about (it's not the best advice but it might get you out of this situation)

    But if you decide that your ready to tell them I wish you the best
     
  4. Myturn

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    It sounds like your sister knowing first was a mistake. Why did she feel she needed to prep them? Did she not understand that there was always the potential for you to decide that the time was not right. I am sorry for the bump in the road but it does sound like you are ready to tell them, you just didn't needed the added stress of them expecting something big. As long as they know that you are happy with yourself then they will hopefully be happy as well.

    Best of luck!!!
     
  5. Pilgrim is hot

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    thanks guys, I did feel ready a couple of days ago so I guess I just need to relax and not think about the pressure.

    btw I totally told one of my friends tonight that I was seeing a guy, I said it nonchalantly when our other friend was away and he didn't even flinch, he just asked where my boyfriend lived and that was it, that has made me feel a lot better tonight :icon_bigg