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Random guy right when I was going to come out as lesbian...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by October, Apr 3, 2012.

  1. October

    Regular Member

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    I have never really heard of a situation like mine and thus was never to get any advice about it, but maybe you guys will be able to help me.

    I am 17 and for about a year I have known that I liked girls and came to terms with it a while ago. I had even crushed on a few girls at school and planned on coming out the beginning of my junior year.

    Meet, let's call him Kyle, a very open masculine gay guy that has been in relationships with guys and is a year older than me. At the end of my sophomore year he basically started stalking me. He would go out of his way to cross paths with me in the halls and would always want to be with me and around my friends at band practices versus his normal friends.

    Don't get me wrong, I liked the attention. I mean, this guy obviously really wanted to be a part of my life. I was like 'thank you God' you have sent me this person to help me. How much luckier could I get? Here was this confident gay person that wanted to be a close friend. Fabulous! So, once I got over the this-guy-creepily-stalks-me phase I welcomed his friendship with open arms.

    We did everything together and quickly became best friends. The beginning of my junior year came around and we were closer than ever. I loved his company but I hadn't come out to him yet.

    No lie, the day I planned to ask him "can I talk to you about something?" I got a letter from one of my friends. It was him asking her the best way to ask me out. Yup. This awesome gay boy that I admired for his confidence and that was my best friend had somehow fallen for me. A girl. He's gay. I'm a g-i-r-l. See where I'm going here? So I put of coming out to him for a while and our friendship quickly turned to a flirtationship. It was one of those things where we would have "practiced kissing" together and tested flirting techniques. Yeah, one of those friendships.

    Then it hit me. I liked this guy. I could see myself being with him. Weirdest moment of my life. Even weirder than when I had my first crush on a girl. Did this mean I was bi? How common is it that a gay guy and a gay girl would fall for each other? He's the only guy I have ever even found slightly attractive and I am the only girl he ever had feelings for.

    Then I did it. I came out to him...that I knew how he felt about me and that I had similar feelings. We talked about it and we were both okay with it. I still didn't tell him that I was gay. I was scared that he would be even more confused. Not only did he fall for a girl but a gay girl and a gay girl fell for him. We both agreed that we didn't really want to act on our feeling right then but that we would tell the other if the feeling ever went away. He has never told me that. I didn't really know how him knowing that I knew he liked me would effect our relationship but not telling him felt like I was lying to him. It was a gamble but I did what I thought was right and it was for the worst. He drifted from me and we started avoiding each other. We would go days without talking when we used to never go an hour. We lost everything.

    He texted me a couple months ago saying that he was sorry and that he missed me and that if I was willing that he wanted to rebuild our relationship. So, that's what we have been doing for a while. We aren't close to what we used to be but we have that connection again. That security and laughter is there again and I love it but I have also realized that I don't have the strong want to try to be in a relationship with him. What I want him for is what I originally needed him for. I want to tell him that I don't feel the same way I did about him at the beginning of the year and that I am a lesbian. Do you guys feel this would be okay? I just got him back and I don't want to lose him again but he is the only person I can turn to right now. Thoughts on all of the above?
     
  2. I think that romance is really sweet, I'm sorry it didn't work out :/ I think you should tell him what you're thinking. Since he's gay he'll probably understand more than others. That's a really neat story, I still can't get over it. Hopefully you'll stay friends :slight_smile:
     
  3. October

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    Thanks:slight_smile: I honestly don't know what I would do without him and I really want him to be by my side supporting me when I come out:slight_smile: I live in the south right in the middle of the Bible belt and coming out down here isn't like coming out in other parts of the US unfortunately :/