"That's so gay!"

It's a colloquialism, I find it's best not to fight it. I've used it myself, though I'm not a huge fan of the phrase. I've also used it to denote positive things, and I get weird looks from everyone But whatever, it's best to disregard it

 

You could say "Yeah, it wishes" that might catch him off guard

 

I'm out to my friends and I'll occasionally say it and my friends will occasionally say it. I don't get offended by it, but I could see how it could be offensive to some.

I find that I feel like I'm more comfortable with being gay if I'm able to joke about it. Sometimes I'll be as stereotypical (lisp, flailing hands, etc.) as possible; which my friends and I find hilarious. I'm never trying to bad-mouth other gay people or be degrading.

Like I said; if I'm able to joke about something I know I'm comfortable with it...if that makes any sense.

 

It was easier for you to ignore it when you were closeted because you thought they weren't talking about you but now that you're semi-out it's personal. I think that's fair to say. No? Honestly, take it from me. I've been out for what feels like forever. Everyone says it. Even I say it sometimes. You really have to pick your battles when you're out and this isn't it.

If you think you're outraged or bothered now, wait until someone calls you a faggot to your face. Then tell me how outraged you are. You'll save yourself so much energy and time and frustration if you just don't let these things bother you. Rise above it, you know?

For me personally, I just go with it. Turn it into a big joke, because it is. Whenever I'm anywhere and I hear someone say it, I say "IT'S OK, THEY MEANT STUPID GAY NOT GAY GAY" in an over-the-top nasally and whiny voice so that it's crystal clear how I feel about it, and people laugh. It diffuses the situation, and then people move on.

 

I used to say "that's so gay" a lot but less so lately. But at the same time, many people (myself included) say, "that's retarded" or "that's lame" and those are also actually not nice either. So I try not to take offense most times because really, most of us say things like that when we shouldn't.

I do think all those terms shouldn't be used in that manner but like it was said earlier, sometimes you gotta pick your battles.

 

Personally - no. Like Cheese on Toast said - it's colloquialism. Not a bit different than calling somebody a son of a bitch when they score concert tickets from a radio station, and if they're male, you've certainly spoken the truth.

People will say what they say, you can't police it. Even if they mean it offensively, if you censor their speech, they still have their thoughts. By actively telling people what they can and can't say is really giving them the option of filtering because xxx is here. Some may take it well, others might not. Strangers likely won't. I guee if you're ok with the negative reactions or the general feeling of "oh great, x is here...gotta watch the g-bomb", you can say something.

Being offended by speech is the listener's option. The speech is there - that part is out of your control. Personally, I choose to get offended at the spirit, direction, and intent of the language, if at all. Never at the general use of a phrase.

 

I would wince theatrically and make groaning noises. Make a friendly joke out of it. It's not meant in viciousness, so you can make it clear how you feel without being confrontational or unpleasant. On the other hand, you might find yourself becoming unpleasant if you just keep things bottled-up.

 

'Gay' has just become a word to describe something unpleasant the way 'Cool' has become a word to describe something pleasant. Neither are being used for their actual definition so...don't make a mountain out of an non-existent molehill is all I will say. I use it from time to time myself, it really doesn't bother me. The only ones that annoy me are when someone jokingly says "you faggot!" to their friend, who is not gay or whatever - they simply mean it as a joke degrading insult...like, "that's gay!"

 

This: as long as its not an attack or anything those are just words, sure people get offended by them still so i tend to be carefull with my choice of words

 

Using gay in the context of stupid is no different from using Jew in the context of 'rip off' or nigger in the context of 'stupid black person that I hate'. It applies negativity to a group of people, even if you're talking about something, or an experience that does not involve that person. Its still negative and perpetuates that homosexuality is bad. At least that's my opinion.

If you're a kid, sitting in class, after recieving your daily dose of hate from the local bully, and its perfectly acceptable for him and your peers to say "That test is gay." or "Those shoes he bought are so gay..." or "I don't wanna go to the mall, so gay there. Its full of nothing but gay things for the gayest faggots to do", how do you think he/she is feeling? Its just a hate wheel. Gay, stupid, hate, gay, stupid, hate, over and over.

My experiences with Christians, for the most part have been negative, and full of back door comments from their smiling faces. I wonder if I could start a trend that applies the use of the word "Christian" to anything that is dishonest, bigoted, hypocritical or judgemental. Lets see how it would sound. "Man, my boss is such a Christian, he's lied to me since I started this job." or "That guy is such a dick, one day he will have to lay in a big stinking bed of crap for all his Christianianity." or how about "Dude, have a little respect for someone who is different than you, and stop acting so Christian." Hmm? "Oh look, another stupid suicide bomber killed 20 people he hates. Must have been a student at the Taliban school of Christian."

I've asked my friends to stop. Not neccessarily because it hurts me, but because its a cultural thing that doesn't need to persist.

 

2 things;

1. this "obey" brand what is it all about. obey what? i see the kids wearing it and i want to know. is it a skater thing? please advise.

2. you can't control what people will or will not say. this kid is not your friend so my suggestion is that if he bothers or annoys you, just do not hang around him or become freinds with him if you want and through the friendship you could come out to him etc.
however, people are not going to monitor what they say just because you're around and they're not even that cool with you anyway. and asking the other friends to tell him to chill out on the "gay" lingo would create a whole big thing and that's not what you want anyway. so either avoid hanging with the kid or hang with him and over time express how its not a cool thing to say. take the "gay word out of it" what if were somethign else he did that annoyed the crap out of you but you could not really tell him...you would just avoid him.

---------- Post added 4th Apr 2012 at 12:54 PM ----------

the Christian bash was a bit extreme. If another poster inserted "gay men" instead of Christian into your statement, I'm sure many people would have a fit.

My experiences with (insert gay men), for the most part have been negative, and full of back door comments from their smiling faces.

^^^^Doesn't sound so nice does it. just sayin

 

I cannot stand hearing "that's so gay" or "you're retarded". The former is for the reason that they're making a negative connection with a word that means homosexual (well, "happy" technically), and personally that bugs me.

The latter, retarded, bugs me because I've got a lot of mentally disabled people in my family and as friends (plus there's me). Some don't understand what it means, but have concluded that because it was used to describe something bad, it means they are bad or messed up (took me FOREVER to get my younger brother to understand, not a happy conversation).

But that's me. I can't control others and usually let it go. It's not like I have a choice other than "make a big deal out of it".

However, I'm cool with joking around with friends/brothers (who are now enjoying the privilege of saying "bros before hoes" at me). But that's different than calling someone's shoes or an unfortunate situation "gay".

 

I can understand it from both sides. Honestly, I've used it and felt guilty because saying it seemed so...well, horrible. At the same time, we should [maybe] sort of understand that it's becoming almost "normal" to say it, but not mean it in a derogatory way. Let's face it, the meaning of gay has evolved.

It originally meant happy, but we now use it as an orientation status. And it's starting to change again. People will be people, but...whatever. If it bothers you, do something about it if you feel you should

 

It was not meant to be nice, however it wasn't meant to be directed at anyone. It was only to illustrate how some feel about this statement, and how uncool it actually is. Same goes for any other word used in or out of context to hurt another.

As for my experiences, yeah, they have been negative, but I'll just reserve that for another place and time, and not here.

 

Don't Laugh.. most people crave the joy of their friends. They will try to make their friends like them more and try to up their status.. in highschool at least. DON'T LAUGH. It'll put them in an awkward spot and they'll want to avoid that at all costs again.