I need advice because I don't know if someone likes me. I usually like girls, but theyres something special about this guy. Heres the long and complicated story: I met this guy at work who I thought looked handsome and honeslty a bit gay-looking. I mean, he does wear earrings. Anyways we started to socialize and hes a bit shy and awkward but makes me blush. I developed a crush for him a few weeks and fantasizing dreams later. One day at work he said something along the lines of having weird things for me to do. I messaged him about it later that night teasing on how it sounded gay, and flirted with him to the best of my ability. Keep in mind this was all in a half-joking context. I continued to message him perverted, funny things back and forth. Then one day I had the guts to ask him if he liked me, really liked me through text. He asked what I mean and I told him sexually. He first wanted to know what I thought of him. I told him that I was attracted to him and he responded by saying he was bi and liked me a bit too. For the next month, I continued to talk to him about this through text. He seemed genuinely interested but sometimes would get "weirded out" and wouldnt reply. Finally his brother told me that he thought I was annoying and never text me back on purpose. I asked him about it and he said he was kidding about liking me and bieng bi. I got pissed and told him he was an asshole for doing that when I legit liked him. Then he ignored me for a week. Now were friends again but im getting mixed signals. He always has this strange attitude around me. He acts weird. He stares at me and always has a little smirk on his face when I talk to him. He will talk to me but really only when were alone. He seems to treat guys and girls the same way at work. And he'll say funny things that criticize me just to be funny. Today at work I closed with him. I was joking around throwing things at my one friend thats a girl and he said to stop throwing things so i tossed something at him. He got real pissed and said he was going to fucking beat me up if I threw anything else at him and threw a salt shaker at me as hard as he could. And i've never seen him be that emotional before. Girls called him gay before jokingly and he doesnt deny it. And my one friend asked him if he was jealous because i supposedly slept with this one girl and he just muttered something then left. What do you think? Does he truthfully not like me or is he just afraid to admit it? He is from a religious family and Im pretty sure hes a virgin. And im also a minor, hes 20. When we were kidding around we were taking about having sex and he said it would be a problem because im 17 an hes 20. So if it did happen, I could say it was rape. I told him i wouldnt say that, then he said, so youd like it then? And that before i admitted i was attracted to him. Logical tells me hes straight because he wouldnt have told me that he didnt like me, but my gut tells me hes too afraid to stand up and admit that he likes me and when we flirted it was somewhat genuine. Please I need opinions because no one I talk to has experience with this stuff.
I think he does like you, but he's frustrated and does not know how to go about it...somethings pulling him in a different direction then he really want's to go religion? family?.. 20 year old guys don't usually 'joke' about being Bi...I would set up a private meeting with him, go to quiet park or something and chat, who knows maybe he will open up and the both of you can explore your bi-sexual side and it could lead to more...just make sure this is what you really want.
Errr well...maybe he's not so accepting of himself. Maybe he's trying to get over you? It could be anything, but yeah I definitely think you should have a face-to-face conversation with him, alone.
he is a closeted homosexual. straight men do not flirt or jokes around about being gay or bi for any prolonged periods of time with a guy they know is interested in him. they simply will not entertain it. also, closeted homosexuals that try and appear straight will also not entertain any reference to them being gay as well. they will deny while at the same time secretly long for homosexual contact. overall he seems like a butthole and not anyone you should waste your time on. just leave him alone. for the closeted homosexual that is on the verge of coming out or wanting to explore, the best way to get them is to ignore them after it has come out that you like them. for the ones that play games like this guy, the best way to actually "get him" is to ignore him. his insecurities and fear of rejection will be on a level 10 and he will end up texting you or trying to talk to you. anyway no sex until you're an adult. good luck.
I tried to ignore him for a while but got tired of him not wanting to talk to me. I got impatient and asked him if he was honestly attracted to me... and I wouldn't tell anyone if he did. I had to do it through text cause I was too afraid to ask him in person. All he said was "no". I had to ask not be scheduled at the same time as him at work. I was so pissed he lied to me all that time but yet I still hope that he actually feels something for me. Eff my life.
Well, since you'd been sending texts back and forth joking about being gay or bi, he may have just thought you were still joking at first, and then didn't know how to deal with it when he realized you were serious. (This is possible whether he's actually interested in guys or not.) Anyway, I suggest that you try to just be friends again. Even if he is interested in something more, he's clearly not ready for it. I understand why you're mad, but I doubt he hurt you intentionally. It was either a misunderstanding or he's having serious issues accepting himself. He also might actually be genuinely bothered by you being a minor, in addition to whatever else is going on with him.
This sounds vaguely like when I flirted with a guy over text, only in reverse. I was even more insecure about my sexuality than I am now and at one point it got too real for me and I pretty much just stopped talking to him altogether. We never really acknowledge each others even, and if he tried to talk to me, at least back then, I might have reacted violently too. To me it sounds like he has feelings for you, but isn't comfortable with it. If he isn't then unfortunately there isn't much you can do. He's got to accept himself first. If he is straight then the advice is the same. Until he is ready (or he is straight) you need to move on. Those are my thoughts but I also don't know him as well as you so my opinion isn't worth a whole lot.
Well, there was this bonfire thing he was supposed to be at, but now hes not going. I guess I'll just have to be patient.
anyone else have any input into this? ive asked a few friends and they seem to be saying similar things.
Honnestly, His behavior towards you seems to either be A: confusion on the initial situation between you both or B: Someone that is repressing his sexuality and obviously unfortunately cant deal with the current situation. But you shouldn't (i know it sounds insensitive) waste your time on someone that's obviously repressing unnecessary anger towards you?! I mean its not worth it currently. Working with him must be even more annoying as well because hes around...but I suggest you move on with other things (let him soak alone a little) and who knows? maybe hell come around and open up to you at some moment? Cheers <3
