Now that I've come out to my parents and sister 2 months ago, I can't seem to fully relax. I'm constantly worrying what they're thinking. My sister and dad are completely fine with it, but my mum...bless her, I can tell she's struggling. At first I thought it was just in my head but something sets her off and she gets awkward around me, I ask her what's on her mind and encourage her to ask me anything and talk to me about anything but she just gives me a hug and telling me she just wants me to feel comfortable. I know that sounds very nice and sweet, but the way she does it is very awkward - like she's keeping something bottled up. This part all came after there was something on a TV drama about a man coming out to his wife and crying, saying she doesn't know how hard it's been...so I did jump to the slight conclusion that this made her think I was in the same mind-frame as 'man on television'. I don't know what to do... It doesn't feel the same with my mum anymore, which is a shame because we've always been so, so, so close, but when I came out it was such a shock. I'm worried now that she thinks of me different. What should I do now? Should I just leave the matter and give it time? I suppose my mum just may be having a harder time than others... Or do I ask her something? My sister and dad are completely fine, my dad was fine from the get-go and my sister just said "so?" when I told her. But my mum...it's slightly different. She did mention to me it was thought of as weird when she was at school "but there was a lesbian in my class, Kaye, and she was quite nice I suppose." It always seems to be mum's who have the issues with it. I know so many dads who are completely breezed about the topic when it comes to their gay sons, it's only mums that ever seem touchy.
"What do I do?" "From what I understand, you're in the textile business." She's working on coming to grips with it. This is a good thing. Yeah, it'd be ideal if she instantly "got it", but not everyone does. And for those who don't, this is the best reaction. She understands that SHE'S the one with the problem, and she's working on getting her head around it, and getting herself to the right spot. Just let her know you appreciate her efforts, and you're always willing to talk..and even answer "dumb" questions. Lex
Thank you very much . I just spoke to a close friend about it and basically wrote the same essay and he just replied "Time time time." I'll just wait it out, and do all of the things you said - let her know I appreciate her efforts and such. I know I have my dad and sister to help me, so hopefully the journey will be over soon.
If your mom does think you have the same mindset as the guy on the telly, then she thinks you're all sad and overwrought, right? If you're happy and nothing's wrong, just let her know that. Yeah, and it will take time for that to all pan out, so waiting and staying positive is key
