Hi! I'm new here. I found this place and started reading posts and opinions. I think EC will be useful as it seems that some of you feel the same way as me and/or you give good advices. So, here it goes. I had boy crushes all my life. I even had a boyfriend. When I broke up with him I closed my heart and stopped dating. Years passed and I didn't had a crush on any boy, but I started to think I had some sort of interest on girls. I didn't thought about my sexuality too much, so I didn't payed too much attention to it. Also it scarred me that I could be gay or bisexual (I know there's nothing wrong with it now, however I was too young at that time). Two years ago I met a wonderful girl. We became really good friends and with time we were as close as sisters. Time passed and she started to had a crush on me (I realized that few months ago) and began to hit on me. I didn't thought she was doing that so I didn't freaked out or anything. I just thought she was a perfect person that would ever hurt me and that will always be there for me. We started to have something. Not really a relationship but not really a friendship. Once I freaked out cause I was like "OMG I'm in a relationship with a girl" but didn't do much. Time passed by, some good and bad times. After a while I kissed her. It was amazing. For the first time in my life I felt that kind of interest on someone and I was treated like a queen. But, months later people started mocking me. "You're straight" "you never said you like girls but boys" "you should marry a guy". Things like that made me feel confused. Before they said that to me I didn't felt doubts. I just loved -love- her. Somehow sometimes I don't feel she fulfills my needs, I don't feel so secure. Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with her? Is this me? I don't know if what they said confused me. It might be just doubts of a regular relationship. We have been together for 6 months now and that means it's quite serious. We have had a lot of trouble cause we are not that stable, but we always end up together. I have doubts, I got hurt. Lately she has been rude with me -what makes me have more doubts- but generally she's thoughtful. She hasn't pushed me or anything. She knows I don't trust people easily and that I have a hard time in dating/relationships. She lets me go as quick as I want. No hurries. I fantasize with her, but sometimes I doubt if I should date a guy. I want her, but I'm worried, I'm confused. Am I doing the right thing? What do you think? I know I'm not straight, nor gay. I know I want her, but I'm confused and scarred. I'm young -19- and it's not terrible not to be sure bout my sexuality, but it gives me a hard time not knowing what to do with my girlfriend. HEEEELP!
First off welcome to EC Second off, you love this girl right? That's all that matters, if you're happy in the relationship with her don't even consider leaving her to experience things with guys, you really need to ask yourself DEEPLY, if you love her and want to be with her, just forget about you liking guys for a second and ask yourself that as if you are gay, if you really want to be with her then that's all that matters. About these people - I get it all the time, you'll learn to just ignore it, don't give them the satisfaction by responding to their self righteous bigotry, THEY are in the wrong, NOT you! If these people are your friends just simply tell them to stop it, it could be as simple as saying 'back off' in a strong voice, just let them know how you feel. Just a quick side note - you say you want to experience things with guys? That suggests you haven't done anything with a guy yet, besides kiss maybe, and that you feel unprotected with your girlfriend, it's POSSIBLE that you're a heteroromantic homosexual, meaning you are gay but are attracted to the emotional side of being with men. However only you can answer that, if you are sexually attracted to men then you're bisexual or pansexual. Hope I helped.
It sounds like my relationship with my ex boyfriend... I think you have normal relationship issues...
Also 6 months does not mean the rest of your life. 6 months is actually a rather short period of time for some people. Also you don't have to label yourself right now. Right now there are a lot of labels you could be (gay, bisexual, gender blind, pansexual, Kinsey 2-6, etc.). You're just interested in a person right now. That's all that matters.
