So I kinda always knew I liked guys.... But I kinda of just ignored those feelings and tossed them to the side.... I have a girlfriend right now and i'm happy with her but i dont find myself wanting to make our relationship go further (aka sexual acts) as it turns me off.... But recently Ive been looking into my gay side and realised I cant hide it any longer.... This is me and i cant stop that anymore.. but this urges really make me want a boyfriend.. I live in a very rural area (about 2000+ people where I live) and dont have any options in guys as most of the people here are rednecks and religious.. My highschool no joke has like 120 kids... I mean I dont even know if we have gay people in my town that are open of course...... Im having a really hard time controlling my urges for guys..... Its really hurting me emotionally..... But the probelm with me is im really naive and shy and pretty much a loner.... I still havent told anyone im bisexual or gay still kinda confused on which..... there is are bigger towns near by but idk where to go or what to do to find a guy... And my girlfriend is telling me she loves me and wants to be together forever.... Im just really stressed and unhappy... *sigh* This is why I hate Montana.. It doesnt help im only 14 also :/... Sorry for this huge rant I just really need help by people who can understand and relate me... I know this is a good website and im happy to of found it... I'd really appreciate any advice or help....
Well, hate to say it, but in your situation no matter what you do it's going to be hard. I'm sure you already know this though... For now, why don't you continue posting here and talking to gay/bi people online? Having a friend, even halfway across the world who can understand you, can be a lifesaver. You eventually should (or maybe not if you find that you're bi not gay) break up with your girlfriend, for a lot of reasons. For one, if she says she loves you... She'll just fall harder and hurt more the longer you put off telling her the truth (or at least letting her go). You say there are bigger towns nearby, so there's probably some gay scene within reach for you. However, you're 14... So your options are really limited. You could try searching online for gay youth groups/events. Maybe you can find something? Have you tried? I would probably repost this or ask to have this post moved to the advice section? That's probably why you haven't really gotten any responses yet, as I think this is the wrong section to post this stuff in. And btw, you don't have to apologize for anything
Hi, and welcome! First, you're ahead of the curve by understanding and accepting that you're gay as early in life as you have. It will certainly make it a little more difficult living in a rural area, but gay people exist even in your tiny town and your tiny school! It may take time, and you may have some challenges figuring out who they are, but they're there. On to your girlfriend... I think everyone who is in a relationship at 14 assumes that it will last forever; that's sort of the way most 14 year olds think, but of course, that's really rare for someone to meet the love of their life at 14 and marry them and live happily ever after. So I wouldn't worry *too* much about that. But the bigger issue is, now that you know you're gay, being fair to her. As I said, it's not like you're about to get engaged, but it also probably isn't fair to keep leading her on, and you don't want to get your arm twisted into having sex or doing any sexual things if you don't feel that sort of attraction, and that I think is likely to be your biggest problem. Abayomi has given you some good advice. For the time being, online friends can be a big help, and connecting with people in online communities like this can help you feel more comfortable with yourself and help you develop the confidence to feel happy and love yourself for who you are. (The one piece of advice I'd give you on that is... please think really carefully about doing anything sexual over webcam, even with someone you feel like you know... those webcam videos have a habit of getting captured and posted around the internet.) I'm also going to move your thread to "help and advice" so you get more responses Feel free to contact me or any of the advisor team if you want to talk with one of us individually, but also... keep posting in the forums, maybe strike up some conversations on people's walls as well. I think you'll find that, even in a tiny town, you'll find allies and friends who are perfectly fine with your being gay, and I think you'll eventually find others like yourself as well
