Hi fellow EC member, I'm in a lot of thoughts right now because my business partnerships is over and I don't know what to do next to make a living. In the past, I was so driven and craving success that I had done almost anything to be professionally successful. So far, my successes (working in finance in the City of London, kinda thing) were actually torture at work and all ended up with a feeling of being completely lost and empty. The problem I have really is that I don't really know what makes me happy, and what I'm truly passionate about. Right now, I feel no motivation for nothing whatsoever apart from staying in my bed watching 'The Real Housewives'. Everywhere I look is just more of the same thing.:bang: I'm really tired of doing stuff where I cannot be my gay self and express it as I want. I'm used to repress myself of being gay because I'm afraid of the reactions of other people around me, being fired, etc. I'm just feeling so lonely:tears: I'm thinking about looking more gay, with a look like 2 earrings, tattoos, more jewelry etc. because if it looks gay then it's less of a headache to fit in the right environment (+ I like the look): I exclude myself from where I don't want to be just by the way I look. Do you think it's a good strategy? I'm so freakin' lost. Note: where I live, there are a ton of jobs 'cause it's a booming mining town, I don't know if I want to go to the big city because I don't want to sit at home unemployed with no money...
I don't think two earrings, tattoos, and more jewelry = looking gay. Dress the way you want to dress. If you want a sign that says "I'm gay," wear a pride bracelet. Or where an "I love guys" t-shirt.
I think you should dress however you WANT to dress. As far as "coming out" you live in Canada, imagine living in a southern small town here in the (not so) Good Ole USA.... Canada is much more accepting... Now, as for where to go. Nothing Ventured Nothing Gained.... If you think you can do it, well no, even if you DONT think you can do it, go for it! You'll do better than you think!
I want to look more 'counterculture': I know it's not specifically a gay thing because the miners - construction workers etc. in my town are str8 and dress like that 2. That kind of attire doesn't look corporate which is what I don't want to be associated with anymore. I'm really afraid of changing looks and specifically what my family is gonna think! I know that they don't like that. I know this can look silly because I'm a grown-up man so I do what I want and it's not like a big deal but for me it is for some reason. Wearing an "I love guys" t-shirt in my town: no way, it's gonna kill me! Maybe I should consider growing a pair... ---------- Post added 8th Apr 2012 at 07:29 AM ---------- For the dress thing, I feel I'm kinda asking for permission. I repressed what I want for so long due to my career, and to my parents and my coworkers feelings about it, in short, to 'look professional'. What I want was just not acceptable in my chosen work. It's time to claim my life back! Comin' out? - OK, I can imagine it's more accepting than southern small town in the US but it's not like Montreal or Vancouver either! For instance, If I was choosing to work in mining, I think it would make my life miserable because I don't think the workplace culture would be very supportive of my being gay. If I worked in the flower store or hairstyling kinda work, that's gonna be different: I just don't want to make things difficult or miserable for myself at this point.
If you have anything on your mind reading what I just wrote, please post it! It really helps me A LOT!
