My first post.Well here it goes I'm 17 I'm a junior at Burbank High School and I live in Los Angeles CA so last Wednesday was just like any other day It was 3rd period P.E and my group of friends we were ust kickin back waiting for our P.E teacher to call us in then one of.my friends asked.to see my phone and.go on YouTube. Then my friend was snooping around on my phone and opened web browser and I guess he saw my history and saw that I've been doing a research on.sexuality because I wanted to know what caused me to be bi and a year or so ago I started accept I'm bi. BTW my friends.are.straight as far as i know. So my two friends told my closest friend what he found.o. my phone I could hear them talkin on.the corner and.there was this girl sitting at the corner and she heard and she told.me.when.my friends.left to go change to their P.E clothes I felt nervous i didn't want any1 to ind .out especially my.closest.guy friend who I have a crush on so we were on the football field about to play soccer then my friends calls my name and says "We need to talk." I was like ok what then.my closest friend.ask me are you gay I replied no several.times and.my friend was like if you don't tell us you'll never see us.again.then my.friend.was like.I'm gonna look.up.that website and if u don't tell me.were not.friends.anymore.then.they walk away and.a gave in.and said wait ill tell you guys then my friend.was.like its ok you can tell us my closest friend was like Are.you Gay I'm like.Not.exactly he's like are you Bi? Yeah when then he flipped[B[/B]and.said.I knew it you told me before and you said.you were.just messing around my other friends were holding him back so I felt so bad I could concentrate on soccer so I sat down at the bench and started ballin and all this ppl came over and asked me if I was ok I was looking down.tryin not.to make it seem.like I was crying so we were walking to the locker room and they called me Hey Big Mac that's what they call me I walk over my closest friend put his arm around me and said were cool with it we will keep it between the 5 of us if any1 tells I got ur back then he rubbed the back of.my head I txtd him later and said its cool if you don't wanna be my friend anymore I understand. He replid no WTF mwe will justme is pretend you never told us. I was like thanks . Tbh I accepted it didn't want it to get around school that would destroy my reputation . But what botheres me is that it feels like I'm losing my bestfriend and cuz he hasn't completely accepted it and tbh he's sorta a homphobe. It feels like I'm losing everone I cared about my mom is moving in with her boyfriend I have to live with my grandama and uncle and.I am battleing depression but its better now but it feels like I'm being sucked in again cuz of all the stuff I'm goin through I have other really big prob but it were to list them.it would be so long like my mom just finalized her divorce.my uncle.hates.me.the other one is nice though my father died.when. I was 9 I have bad grades got 3 F's some of my friends forgot about me. Like I can't really feel sad or happy I feel sorta numb I think the world is horrble and I use to be optimistic but now I'm pessimestic always hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
You really need some love. (*hug*) I feel for you very much, being myself depressed from 13 year old, I know the condition, and I can imagine what you're going thru.. I think it's actually good that your friends know that because this is just who you are. Now, you might think it's not be the best time of your life for that to happen but frankly, the earlier in life you come out as who you are the better because you can have the life you were meant to live and not a life in the closet. If you come out later in life, then chances are you have already chosen the wrong studies, wrong work, wrong friends, etc and you have to undo everything (that's my life basically). For what happened with your family, that's sad that you lose you dad, but there seems to be people loving you there! It's great that you're capable of reaching out to a site like this and asking help from people who care and love you the way you are.
I always feel better when I come out to people. Even if things go sour in the relationship, you know who you can count on. But fortunately, it sounds like all of your friends are there for you. From what I recall, isn't Burbank a rather nice place to be gay? Being close to Hollywood and all...
I guess its ok but my friends are mexican I'm half mexican Filipino and in my opinion my Filipino side of my family is more accepting of LGBT.
I'm not that great at being warm, fuzzy and supportive, so I'll leave that to everyone else who does it so well But, you should know, that I wouldn't worry about losing your best friend. His immediate, reflexive reaction to your being upset (even knowing why) was to comfort you. Even if he is homophobic, he cares about you as a friend more than his preconceived notions about LGBT. I don't think it's very often that someone who is homophobic supports their friend initially, then decides they really don't like them anymore just because of that, especially once they know. If anything, I think it's more likely that he might become less homophobic (or at least conscious of what he's saying/doing) since you came out to him.
