1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

My Friends figured out I am Bi I need.advuce plz.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Anthony8184, Apr 9, 2012.

  1. Anthony8184

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles CA ;Burbanl CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    My first post.Well here it goes I'm 17 I'm a junior in High School and I live in Los Angeles so last Wednesday was just like any other day It was 3rd period P.E and my group of friends we were ust kickin back waiting for our P.E teacher to call us in then one of.my friends asked.to see my phone and.go on YouTube. Then my friend was snooping around on my phone and opened web browser and I guess he saw my history and saw that I've been doing a research on.sexuality because I wanted to know what caused me to be bi and a year or so ago I started accept I'm bi. BTW my friends.are.straight as far as i know. So my two friends told my closest friend what he found.o. my phone I could hear them talkin on.the corner and.there was this girl sitting at the corner and she heard and she told.me.when.my friends.left to go change to their P.E clothes I felt nervous i didn't want any1 to ind .out especially my.closest.guy friend who I have a crush on so we were on the football field about to play soccer then my friends calls my name and says "We need to talk." I was like ok what then.my closest friend.ask me are you gay I replied no several.times and.my friend was like if you don't tell us you'll never see us.again.then my.friend.was like.I'm gonna look.up.that website and if u don't tell me.were not.friends.anymore.then.they walk away and.a gave in.and said wait ill tell you guys then my friend.was.like its ok you can tell us my closest friend was like Are.you Gay I'm like.Not.exactly he's like are you Bi? Yeah when then he flipped[B[/B]and.said.I knew it you told me before and you said.you were.just messing around my other friends were holding him back so I felt so bad I could concentrate on soccer so I sat down at the bench and started ballin and all this ppl came over and asked me if I was ok I was looking down.tryin not.to make it seem.like I was crying so we were walking to the locker room and they called me Hey Big Mac that's what they call me I walk over my closest friend put his arm around me and said were cool with it we will keep it between the 5 of us if any1 tells I got ur back then he rubbed the back of.my head I txtd him later and said its cool if you don't wanna be my friend anymore I understand. He replid no WTF mwe will justme is pretend you never told us. I was like thanks . Tbh I accepted it didn't want it to get around school that would destroy my reputation . But what botheres me is that it feels like I'm losing my bestfriend and cuz he hasn't completely accepted it and tbh he's sorta a homphobe. It feels like I'm losing everone I cared about my mom is moving in with her boyfriend I have to live with my grandama and uncle and.I am battleing depression but its better now but it feels like I'm being sucked in again cuz of all the stuff I'm goin through I have other really big prob but it were to list them.it would be so long like my mom just finalized her divorce.my uncle.hates.me.the other one is nice though my father died.when. I was 9 I have bad grades got 3 F's some of my friends forgot about me. Like I can't really feel sad or happy I feel sorta numb I think the world is horrble and I use to be optimistic but now I'm pessimestic always hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
     
  2. Obsidian

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2012
    Messages:
    29
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Michigan
    Gender:
    Male
    I don't really know what to say, but I think that if he is a true friend, (as cheesy as this may sound) he will come to accept your sexuality.
     
  3. Linthras

    Linthras Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2012
    Messages:
    2,140
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Leeuwarden (FR), the Netherlands
    Just a tip: use paragraphs and blank lines, it will make your post more legible.
    And as Obsidian said, a true friend will accept you, regardless of whom you're attracted to.
    All I can say is, give them some time to adjust and if it does not work out, look for some real friends, who you are, not who they think or want you to be!(*hug*)
     
  4. Valyrian

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2012
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Like the peeps said, if they're TRULY your friends, they will accept you as you are. IF they don't, they never were your friends to begin with.

    When i came out to one of my friends, despite the fact that i only knew him for like 3 years, and he was a bit young, he took it pretty well but never really talked about it. It's like i never told him.

    But from time to time, it was killing me because i couldnt really talk to someone about it and i realised that 1 person just wasn't enough. So, like a month ago, i decided to start telling them one by one. Most of them guys and one girl. Every single one of them was cool with it and they're supportive aswell and said that they will love me no matter what. I didn't even get one bad reaction. And especially the guys are making a lot of questions about it and they were like "i thought gay people f**k and hook up with everyone" and other homophobic stuff because they were ignorant on the matter. But once we talked about it, they completely changed their opinions. They like teasing me, sometimes grabbing my butt, we sleep in the same bed etc, they even watched gay porn to see what's look like! Hell, when i was at one of my friends place he told me to take out my (you know what) so he could see it hard and we end up masturbating lol. (he was doing all the job anyways hehe) He said he wanted to see how was it like and well, i couldn't refuse! It only happened once though and we never talked about it again.

    So in only one month, i told a several friends and now almost all of my friends (pretty close) know about me. Aaaand that would be like 9 people. When we gather all together for drinks they like to tease me and make jokes but thats after i told them im completely fine with it.

    So my point is, if they really ARE your friends, they will accept you NO MATTER what. Even if they get a bit distant at first and feel a bit awkward, they will get over it eventually. And like said, if they don't, you have to look for new friends that will love you for what you are, and not that THEY want you to be.

    best regards,
    john
     
  5. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My sense is that they *will* stay your friends and stick by you. It might take them a little time to adjust -- that's normal, because it's something they didn't expect -- but I think they'll be fine with it.

    I will suggest you prepare for the idea that others in the school will find out. It's nearly impossible for high school kids to keep something "juicy" like someone being gay under wraps, the urge to share it with "just one person" is usually too much. But in any case... your friends know now, and they've already told you they're supportive.

    I'm sorry for the difficulties with your family and other factors. It's inexcusable for a parent to be so uncaring and callous, but it happens. I can tell you that in time, you'll be able to get past all of these things, and learn to love and believe in yourself. It takes time, but you can definitely get there. :slight_smile:
     
  6. mnguy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2006
    Messages:
    2,377
    Likes Received:
    450
    Location:
    Mountain hermitage
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hey Anthony, Welcome to EC! I'm sorry you're going through all this stuff at once, but it sounds like you're strong and navigating through it well. Stay strong!

    A few comments on what you posted. First of all, that's what pisses me off about the internet and people snooping into what you do on it. It's essentially them reading your mind. Anything you think of and decide to research, it is there for sneaky people to discover w/o your permission. Real friends don't snoop on your phone, but you are in middle school so I suppose they haven't matured fully yet. Sadly, even some people my age would do the same thing if they get the chance.

    Although these guys came around and seemed cool with you being bi, they were asshats for giving you an ultimatum like that. That's bullshit and I probably would have walked, but you did what you felt you needed to do. Again, maybe some of that is the maturity level of your classmates. I hope they continue to treat you well and not use this info to control you. If they do, I hope you know that being bi is just as good and valid as being straight so don't give into their shit. Stand up to them and tell them off. Real friends will recognize the error of their ways and apologize, and if not, you don't need them. Take care! :thumbsup:
     
  7. Anthony8184

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles CA ;Burbanl CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Actaullly third year high school one more year till I graduate.
     
  8. stumble along

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2011
    Messages:
    652
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SR388
    That really sucks that they were snooping around but I'm sure they will be fine with it.
    This almost happened to me once but at the last second I remembered to delete my history.
    Good luck with everything, I wish you the best