So my brother has made my entire life a living Hell. I do understand that siblings usually rash on eachother, but my brother destroyed me so emotionally when I was younger it still haunts me today and probably will continue for the rest of my life..... When I was younger he basically made me feel like me, my opinions, and my feelings were worthless. And the scary part is, I believed it. Someone I looked up to as a kid would always shoot me down which led me to a very.... weird person. This constant emotional torture led to my narcissism, social anxiety, depression, etc etc. to bleed into the real world. I was, and still am afraid of opening up to other people ,Pretty much how I felt about things have been summarized in this nice little quote... "To avoid the feelings of always being uncertain and on unsteady ground, unable to establish self worth and purpose - the child accepts the narcissistic behavior and avoids relationships that put on any emotional demands. In an effort to avoid conflict and drama, the child suppresses desires, needs and expression of any emotion." Plus I was always irritable which I lashed out at my parents a lot, and they would yell at me back which made me feel even worse.... I actually told them recently I would love to move out because I (essentially) hated them. but in reality.... it's my brother that I have a deep hatred for. He has ADHD so he can't help it/doesn't realize it. He has a loud, booming voice and he always displays to me that he's dominant. He is constantly loud and as a person who likes peace and quiet, I just can't stand and have no tolerance for. SO my question is.... what do I do? I cannot move out as I am a poor college student.... but knowing my brother, even if he was gone for a week, lives in the room next to me... makes me and my emotions out of balance. I doubt talking to him would do anything.... :bang: Any suggestions? Sorry this is all over the place but I'm really stuck in a rut here. It makes me unable to enjoy my life and I know that I come off as an ass to a lot of people. Thanks for reading if you have made it this far...
I do think this could be a partial solution, but my brother is 22 ( i think, lol) and he still lives at home doing nothing with his life. I kinda went overboard with the OP but I do believe a lot of my emotional problems have their roots with him. He has adhd and he's always loud, mouthy, bossy, and criticizing. He doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut, and I've gotten to the point where I can't stand it anymore..... I guess I could tell him to take strattera or some other adhd meds.... but even when I'm around him I get anxiety whether he's hyper or not. Oh well...
You are 19, so if he's 22 that's only a 3 year difference. I'm 21, I live at home, and my step-dad is LOUD and abnoxious. I also have a 10 month old and he will be loud as hell while she sleeps. My solution is always to go to my mom. You're mother should at least attempt to find a peaceful solution. I dont know either of you enough to suggest anything more specific, but moms have a way...
I think I will go talk to my mom.... I remember last summer when I went camping with my family and a friend of mine and my brother got so into the "dominant" mode over me that I got depressed and I actually went and cried by myself then I was really irritated and quiet for dinner that night and afterwards I talked to my mom which made me feel loads better, like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I still didn't tell my brother why I was so depressed but I'm questioning whether he can help the way he acts or not. I will deff talk to me mom, thanks
I agree. talk to your mom. Mom's can do amazing things. Be sure to let her know that you are not mad/frustrated or whatever with her, just your brother. It's important that whe knows that. Good luck. Let us know how it goes.
Well guys thanks for the advice... I haven't talked to my mom yet, but I will in time. I'm currently dealing with chronic depression (dysthymia), and occasionally getting out of it, and occasionally dipping even further down into major depression... in which I have not told anyone because I know the exact reason why... My brother does infact, have a large part in it.... for the reasons in my OP ..... But I've realized the true reason for my depression.... The fact that I'm gay. Not exactly for that reason, I'm mostly past the acceptance stage, but because I have never truly connected with anyone. Never found anyone to love. I have some great friends and family, but I haven't felt that I've truly cared for them since being a freshman in high school. Between then and now has been a dull, emotionless me that I cannot stand anymore..... The persistent depression has made me, always irritable. I have a short fuse. I don't have an interest in anyone or anything around me because of it, which I'm sure makes me look like an ass and like I don't want to talk to anyone. I really do want to talk to people but it's incredibly hard because of the depression I'm still in the closet for the most part.... but damn, I feel like I'm an animal hopelessly trapped in a cage. One part of me says to come out to everyone, then the other part says "well, im not sure that I'm gay yet, so just wait it out and do nothing." but deep down.... I know I am. So it's a tireless cycle. I also do not want to come out because, if anything was to go awry, I don't have anyone close to fall back on.....
