Okay, so here's the deal. I am biologically female, but I've been feeling uncomfortable with my female characteristics for a long time now. Ever since I remember, I've been uncomfortable with my breasts. I want to get them removed when I'm older, but I'm not sure I want to be perceived as male. I'm moderately uncomfortable with female names, like, I don't really want to be someone's "girlfriend." But the thing is I'm not that interested in "male" things, like stereotypically masculine activities. Then again I'm not really into makeup or fashion like most girls. So I'm kind of neutral about my interests. But sometimes I think like a guy, and other times I don't. Urgh, I dunno, this is kind of a pointless post. :icon_redf But if you'd comment and tell me what you think, that'd be great.
Welcome to EC!! It is defenitely not a pointless post. I am sort of going through the same thing, and I hope that it might make you feel better if you know that there are other poeple out there who feel exactly the same way as you. Those things you mentioned: The "sterotypical" male stuff or the make up and fashion. Liking them or disliking them doesn't determine what gender you feel you are. You are not a girl becuase you like make up and you are not a guy because you excel in a "manly" sport or something. Try not to put yourself in those binary little boxes that society puts us in the moment we are born and tells us how we are supposed to feel. Personally, I like queer-gender for myself because I don't feel like I fit in either gender even though I identify as a female. Unfortunately no one can tell you if you are transgender or not. Only you can figure out how you feel. Sometimes the feelings of "not wanting to be preceived as a male" is a fear we have about how we think other people are going to react. I hated hearing this when I was younger, but you really are young and you have a lot of time to figure things out. Let yourself explore and don't pressure yourself to have to fit into any labels. Be youself and be the wonderful unique person you are. (*hug*)
I think, emphasis on the think part, that you're still trying to figure out who you are exactly. I mean this both in the sense of sexuality and personal identity. It wasn't until I was 20 that I knew for certain I like people, regardless of gender. I am still in the process of finding out who I am exactly, what I do know however is that I feel no need to confirm to social gender constructs, a.k.a. stereotypical male behaviour and activities. I do behave how I feel I should behave, without hurting others and I like what I like regardless of what other people might think of that. My personal philosophy is being true to myself, regardless of other peoples expectations. Good luck in finding yourself and lots of support, Thomas(&&&)
Actually, I'm kinda at the same point, except I do wanna be perceived as male, and I like football. :lol: But y'know, you can just be Androgynous or Gender-queer, or you don't really need to label yourself at all, if you like something, go ahead and enjoy it. If you're one of the labels, then accept it.
Okay, first of all, thank you guys. You're all awesome, haha. You're really making me feel like it's okay to not know who I am, even though it's frustrating sometimes.
You sound a bit like me. I've been asking people not to use feminine words for me, and flattening my breasts with slightly-too-tight sports bras, and I'm reasonably comfortable with myself these days. My hobbies and interests are vaguely masculine, but that's not why I choose them. My clothing is vaguely masculine because that's what feels comfortable, and I keep my hair really short for the same reason. If you do want a label, "genderqueer" is a pretty good one because it covers plenty of possibilities. Of course it's okay to be unsure of your gender! That's what makes you interesting and awesome!
about the makeup and football thing, it is just our national culture. some country in africa the men wear the makeup, and i had no idea the photo on that cover was a man! that is their culture, the women do not do that. if you read a little of different countries gender-role specific things you will see what i mean. if you are able then to push aside the i like a thing "guys" or "ladies" like to do, wear, watch, whatever, you will see better where the real similarities for you lie. i looked at some book page about how men think about sex and what women think, and i found i related 100% to the opposite gender, and i didn't look at what it was until i was done reading the list. i looked at the one for "my gender" again and thought Really? i think your true gender is more about who you see yourself as, and how you think, your nature, the real you. and if it is matching close to what your body looks like, you may not be transgender, and if it is way off, you need to search more. i am.
