so today i started to hint about being a lesbian to some of my close friends when they were talking about how hot NHL players are. they didn't really react they kind of ignored it. I don't just want to drip a bomb on them, but I have this knot in my stomach when ever I think about it . I just don't know what to do. :bang:
I may not be the best person to give advice, but when I did come out to some people, I just told them. If you've decided to tell them, it's better to rip the band-aid off, so to speak, that way there's less confusion. Saying "I'm gay" is a lot clearer than hinting around at it. If you aren't ready, then hinting is a good start.
Much as I hate to say it, if you don't "seem gay," hinting will not do any good. Especially for a teenage or college-age girl, if you aren't extremely clear, no one will take you seriously--at least, that's been my experience. It'll just be like, "Ha ha, oh, aren't you funny and cool and open-minded." Unless things have improved considerably, which is possible I suppose, you will have to be really direct about telling people you are gay. Otherwise, they will think that you're kidding or just trying to be cool. For example, for me, the statement "I would go out with a girl," said to my high school friends, was insufficiently clear. It's very unfortunate, since that's as clear as I was about it in my own mind at the time. Maybe if I had been certain enough to say explicitly that I was a lesbian, that might have been taken seriously--if I was insistent enough about it. But as it was, people just thought I was trying to be edgy or something. Which is funny, because that really wouldn't be in character for me at all. Whatever. It bites, I know. Sorry.
Indeed as though as it sounds, hints are often ignored as jokes, so the best way is to tell them. A good idea might be to first tell it to the person you trust the most so he/she can support you when you come out to the rest of your friends. If you're to nervous to tell him/her face to face, you could write her a letter. (I'd advise against text messages, since they tend to be less personal). Good luck! Thomas
Sometimes dropping a bomb on them is the only way they might take you seriously. people have selective hearing especially when it comes to topics they are not very comfortable with. In this situation you will have to be more direct and clear. But whatever you do hope all goes well.
