1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Suffering through the bitter self-loathing and heartbreak of coming out. Advice plz!!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by gb981309, Apr 11, 2012.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. gb981309

    gb981309
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2012
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Who do I talk to? I feel like an idiot for making a big deal about my sexuality. I feel like society makes it so. In my mind, I shouldn't have to even be questioning anything in the first place. I've lived mostly straight since puberty struck but now I can't live like this anymore. I wonder if I was ever attracted to guys, or if it was just a psychological attachment and dependence.

    I am an attractive, young female and I am approached frequently by the opposite sex. However, I am never interested and it causes me to expend a great deal of energy maintaining the "friends only" boundaries as to not hurt the guy's feelings.

    Point is, my health is taking a toll from this constant worry. I don't want to bring it up with my male therapist of two years, because I don't want him to think I'm inventing this for attention. I don't want to be a lesbian I just want to be like my friends.
     
    #1 gb981309, Apr 11, 2012
  2. alwayshope11

    alwayshope11
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2012
    Messages:
    477
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Delaware
    Re: Suffering through the bitter self-loathing and heartbreak of coming out. Advice p

    Hey.. I know how your feeling. I'm a guy, but I get it. I've lived straight for a long long time and only realized I needed to do begin the process of coming out because I was close to marrying a girl and I was still having sexual attractions to men. I have a therapist, and I definitely reccommend talking to yours about the issue. If he is a good therapist, then he won't judge. And I know what you mean when you say you don't want to be gay...but when thinking that, take relief in the fact that you didn't choose this..you need to be who you are to be truly happy. You may not know who you truly are yet, but our sexuality is only a tiny piece of who we are. Work with your therapist! Or PM me if you want to talk more!
     
    #2 alwayshope11, Apr 11, 2012
  3. October

    October
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2012
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Alabama
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: Suffering through the bitter self-loathing and heartbreak of coming out. Advice p

    Wish I had a therapist to talk to lol I would talk to him about it. After all, isnt that his job? Being gay doesn't define you. You can be just like your friends and like girls. It's a win win:slight_smile:
     
    #3 October, Apr 11, 2012
  4. inevertoldyou

    inevertoldyou Guest

    Re: Suffering through the bitter self-loathing and heartbreak of coming out. Advice p

    Society does impress upon us, unfairly so, the need for labels. It sucks. I couldn't agree more. I hate it. I wish we could just be born, with no expectations for who we are going to be or who we will love. But it isn't so. You are who you are and you can't change that. I'm trying to accept the fact that I'm not straight. I don't know to what degree of crooked I am, but I know I'm not straight. I also don't think I'm totally gay. Some (probably most) of us are somewhere in the middle. I did research on sexuality for a college paper my freshman year, and discovered that sexuality is a huge grey area. It's hard to define, hard to measure. Hard to understand. My point is, few people are probably 100% straight, or 100% gay. Some people will never realize this, and they be lead happy fulfilled lives. I see your new to EC, and welcome. Take advantage of what you have found here. This afternoon, I posted something and I was feeling pretty lousy. After talking it through in the forum, I'm feeling much better.
     
    #4 inevertoldyou, Apr 11, 2012
  5. Farouche

    Farouche
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2012
    Messages:
    249
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Re: Suffering through the bitter self-loathing and heartbreak of coming out. Advice p

    Society does put us in the awkward position of having to make a big deal of our sexuality, so don't feel bad about it. It's okay to spend some time and energy getting comfortable with your sexuality.

    I'd say talk it over with your therapist, and if he can't handle it or won't believe you, you need a new therapist.
     
    #5 Farouche, Apr 11, 2012
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)