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What I don't like about being a lesbian.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by addie88, Apr 11, 2012.

  1. addie88

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    Be warned, I'm going to be making a few generalizations here.

    What I don't like about being gay is that girls are SO COMPLICATED. Why can't they just say outright what is on their minds? Why do they have to be all cryptic and elusive and confusing? Why can't they just say "yes, I like you, kiss me" instead of "hey, I'm gonna act like I like you but I won't tell you for sure and that way you can risk our friendship by kissing me and making a fool of yourself in case I don't return the feelings"

    I'm going insane over this girl. She is so, so, so unclear. She identifies to other people as straight, but she has told me more than once that she's bicurious, and now I'm starting to have feelings for her because she flirts her fucking pants off with me every chance she gets. She told me she wants to kiss me, and it's gonna happen tomorrow because we're hanging out just the two of us...but I know, despite my feelings for her, and despite the fact that she jokes around all the time that she wants to be my girlfriend, that she is just using me to satisfy her curiosity.

    And honestly...this sounds bad, but really I'm ok with that. But what I'm not ok with is the fact that I have no idea where the boundaries are. Can I touch her waist? Can I touch her face? Can I kiss her, or does she have to be the one in control? Can I tell her I'm attracted to her?

    I'm frustrated. And I don't want to screw anything up. Because I've never kissed a girl, and despite all of this confusion, I'm really excited.

    Anyone have similar frustrations, with a person they like being all mysterious and hard to follow? And if you have any advice, I'd really appreciate it.
     
  2. Mogget

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    Plenty of boys are like this too. It's not girls who're confusing, it's people.
     
  3. addie88

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    I know. I was just being...irritated, I guess. lol
     
  4. Phoenix91

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    Mmmmm to be honest I haven't been in your situation but I can see your frustrations. Lol for a moment as I was reading it i imagined someone pulling their hair out while trying to decipher the female puzzle :grin:

    I think though your friend might be bicurious you should be careful. she could be using you for experimenting and though you say it's fine with you it might not be true later on if you get too emotionally invested with her. But I don't think you should stress out too much I mean what will happen will happen don't try to force it or over analyze things. Reading her body language can always help. If you do end up getting your first kiss I hope it's magical for you :eusa_clap
     
  5. silverhalo

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    Hey I know its not much help, and there will still be exceptions but I find that girls get less complicated and cryptic the older they get.
     
  6. DJNay

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    I Feel ur pain, girls are so much work, seriously, like ive dated guys in the past when i was figuring myself out and i was never into the relationship so kinda didnt put that much effort in, but when i got my first girlfriend it was like a smack in the face. We fought so much, about silly things really but still, its hard work! you have to be thoughtful, and more involved you know... there are the hormones and emotions. dont get me wrong, it was amazing with the sensitive caring moments and affections... Hardest relationship ive ever had, I had to fight for it, but worst every second :slight_smile:
     
  7. zzzero

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    I would argue that this is way more common with women, especially straight women. They're raised to believe that it's wrong to want something sexual and it makes them a slut, and eventually it turns into hiding their feelings because they think it protects them. I would argue that men are fairly straightforward. Sure, there's always going to be that little mystery, but girls like to play games. I feel bad for all my straight friends because they have to deal with people playing games all the time.
     
  8. addie88

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    @Phoenix91: Thanks for the advice. I'll be very careful. And I did end up kissing her, and it was quite magical :grin: (she told me later when we were texting that she really liked it, which is a pretty big relief, haha)

    @Silverhalo: That's good to hear. It'll be nice when teenage hormones aren't a factor in this.

    @DJNay and Taylor: I agree. I guess in the end, though, the games are worth it, haha.
     
  9. Hot Pink

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    Addie, the only thing I can say is this: yes, yes, yes! I hear you. I hate playing these games with girls. What's worse is when you catch yourself doing it to someone else and you have that moment like, "Really?" I think it's engrained into us.

    When I like a girl, I just want to know the truth. I want to know how she feels. Why do I have to pretend that I don't have feelings for her? I don't get it. Maybe girls just like the feeling of knowing someone is chasing after them? I'm not sure, but I wouldn't mind a girl coming after me a little, I suppose.