Queergender folks...

I'm also genderqueer (female at birth). The label that best describes me is genderfluid, but I just use genderqueer. On the spectrum, though, I usually slide from about 50% male to 85% male. Pronoun choice doesn't really bother me, though I feel a little bit uncomfortable being called a girl / she, her, etc. so at school, with a couple of my supportive friends, I'm trying to transition into using male pronouns and my preferred (traditionally male) name instead of my given (traditionally female) one.

 

I don't know, maybe I'm wierd. I identify as queergender but I don't have a problem being identified as a girl even though I don't feel comfortable looking "feminine". I have short hair, boyish cloths and once in a while if I feel like it I would bind. So, I'm like Harlequin, and I do slide between being a little masculine to looking like a total boy.

I'm new at this so my friends use female pronouns and I don't have a problem with it. Also, I don't feel all that comfortable explaining to my friends about what genderqueer means because I feel self-conscious and I feel like I am telling them what a freak I am (something I got to work on being ok with). My brother looked up the definition of gender queer online after I told him and he responded to me with, "so basically your confused" ....:bang:

express it anyway you feel comfortable with.

I'm queer!! ... I can be a queer friend :smilewave

 

I have never gone through this before. I mean I know I am a girl and I wouldn't have it any other way but sometimes I admire men because it seems like a girls life is a lot more complex than a guys. When I was younger and playing dolls with my friends I usually found myself with the male roles, I don't know why I guess maybe to escape from the female role temporarily made things interesting and fun. I have always considered myself a tomboy, I don't care to wear dresses but I do like to fix myself up at times. I don't wish I was a guy but I am constantly thinking about what it would be like, not to live as a guy but to engage in sexual intercourse with a woman as a guy, kinda weird lOl

Anyways Just live your life the way you want to and call yourself whatever you want. It doesn't matter if other people are confused about your sexuality or "gender", what matters is what you think of it :icon_wink

 

I ask people not to use female pronouns, and mostly they forget or don't understand, but sometimes they switch pronouns. I've asked people to address me by my genderqueer (somewhat masculine) name, and most people can handle that much more easily than the pronouns. Other than that I just wear boy's clothes and really short hair. It all depends on what you're comfortable with.

 

Disclaimer: I'm not even sure what the heck people would consider me, but I feel what I feel...let's stick with that.

I'm biologically female, but feel much more comfortable identifying as male. That being said, I also feel feminine at times. Rarely, but it's still there. Sadly, I still have to dress and act like a girl because 1) My parents still aren't used to the male thing and 2) I'm still...reluctant to let others know. I want to express myself more, but it's so 'normal' to fake being a certain way that it feels terrifying to be open about how I feel.

To add to it, whenever I tell my friends and try to hint that I would prefer if they transition to referring to me as a male (not all at once, I know that it would be ridiculous to expect out of them), they just disagree completely. They say I'm female and that's it.

 

OMG sort of same thing happened with my hair. I had super long hair then when I came out I was like finally, I could cut it now. Sadly I only got a medium length hair cut cause I was afraid of what my parents were gonna say. My hair dresser is a lesbian friend of a friend of mine, and he (prefered pronoun) had this "knowing" smile on his face at the time. A month and a half later, I couldn't stand it anymore. I went back and he was like are you ready to cut it short now? There was a lot of my hair on the floor that day and my only regret was that I didn't just do it the first time.

I need to put on 2 super tight sports bras to be sort of flat enough-ish. I used to be pretty petite too but when I gained weight the first place it went to was to my chest. And my friend is absolutely jeleous of this and can't understand why I don't want breasts to show. I'm actually gonna see today and go get a proper binder, maybe they would be more comfortable.

 

Can't you make the transition gradually? I mean, dress a little bit less girly, and act more how you want to and less how you're expected to. If you change bit by bit then it might be easier on your parents (compared to suddenly changing when you turn 16 or 18 or just lose patience with the whole situation). And once your friends have seen you go through that change over the course of a few weeks or months or years, they might understand that it makes sense to call you a guy, or whatever you want to be called.

 

The gradual transition is a good idea. It hard for some people to accept things they don't understand right away. But for me I know it really sucked to have to hold back once I knew how I felt and how I wanted to be. I don't live with my parents and when they see me, unfortunately they won't see the gradual change, so I might have to back track a little bit when I visit them or else they might freak out.

I think it's important to know that it's not your fault. We try our best to make the people around us feel comfortable with who we are, but you can't be held responsible for other people not accepting it or how they would react to it.

 

wow shaving your head ... now I got to say that takes some serious courage. My hair isn't as short as I would like quite yet cause its got some longer bangs and such. I for sure want a shorter pixie cut. But I never thought about shaving it all off. You would save on a lot of shampoo!

I'm lucky I live in Toronto, there was a store here that had it and I went into just try it out. It took some serious aerobics to get into one of those and I loved the effect. Yea they are expensive, mine was 40 bucks. But its way more comfortable than wearing 2 tight sports bras.

 

Im born male myself, but definitely gender fluid/genderqueer. As I have said, I float between male and female spiritually as my mood wants. That said, IF I had the opportunity where as far as the world had been concerned id always been female, Id take it, without hesitation. Im always looking to make friends too <^_~>

 

Oh geez, if I had the choice I would cut my hair short and dress completely androgynous/male, but unfortunately my parents accidentally found me out and they are quite homo/transphobic when pertaining to me. My mom is therefore taking steps not to allow me to get a haircut or to allow me to buy anything from the guys' sections in stores. I make do with baggy turtlenecks and khakis, therefore. My chest thankfully isn't that big, but I'm beginning to develop "curves" and alarmingly too prominent hips and butt.

The only problem with my cutting my hair is that I have eczema on my neck, among other places, and short hair just makes it look worse. Hopefully it'll heal quickly though and stay mild. I really want to cut my hair and dress "properly," hopefully as soon as college starts.

Count me in as a queer friend

 

I "male", though I really don't care. I don't have a preferred pronoun, or a preferred name. I just don't care. Male, female, andro, queer... I think I'm all four tbh if it's possible. I don't see why people are so concerned with gender... I think we are all the same, but I'm just weird =|

 

Even before I came out, I didn't like the stuff my mom bought me. Heck, I didn't like the stuff I bought for myself.

@Harlequin ... College will be a great opportunity. I came out after university so I guess I didn't really use it to its fullest potential. And I hear that California is very liberal :icon_wink. Btw maybe cutting your hair short will help the back of your neck by not having hair there covering it or something along those lines. Spin it to your advantage?

@mischa ... I also dropped hints to my mom about cutting my hair and showed her a pixie cut. She was like "don't get that, its too much like a boy". So I didn't get a pixie cut :icon_wink ... and I didn't tell her before I cut it. I havn't video chatted with them yet, so I actually don't know how they are gonna respond. (ok super dorky ... but on NCIS)"better ask for forgiveness than for permission". You know on the plus side, because your parents are around, you can sort of ease them into it.

@mitch ... Yea people are super obsessed with gender, but that's really the first thing people want to know when you meet someone new. And most people do assume that the sex your born into is the same as your gender, so people notice it and react when it doesn't match.

 

I am physically a male but I am mentally a female. With people who I am out to I will ask them to call me b female pronouns in private. Also online with unknowns (e.g. playing Minecraft) I will just say I am a gir from the beging.

 

I'm still getting used to embracing my whole sexuality. The whole bit about being gay, and a biological male..

But I have noticed that I have always felt very androgynous. I have tried on feminine clothes before, and it excites me.. I feel like I'm expressing another aspect of myself. Now I'm not necessarily into getting a sex change, but I don't see why we can't embrace.. both sides of ourselves.

Although personally I would look more feminine if I could choose. I have VERY broad shoulders..