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What does it mean?! D:

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Waffles, Apr 12, 2012.

  1. Waffles

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    Hi guys! :3
    So... lately I've been thinking even MORE about my sexuality lately, and now I'm starting to second-guess myself. Just when I think I'm bisexual... I start to think "Wait, what if I'm just in denial?". My feelings have just been all over the place lately.
    Somedays I wake up and say "Penis! :grin: Vagina! D:<", other days "Penis! D:< Vagina! :l" and others "Penis! :grin: Vagina :grin:".
    ... I thought I was attracted to girls, but it's litetally like I'm one big question mark. -_-
    I've had 2 girlfriends. The first one was in 7th grade, and we lasted until freshman year. I really liked her: she was smart, pretty, and overall had a great personality... but I never kissed her: I was nervous. After that, I just stayed away from relationships. During this time, I didn't really think much about my sexuality. But then, summer came along, and I was hanging out with some volleyball friends. It was at this point where I noticed tha3g something about hanging around with a guy set butterflies in my stomach. I fell head over heels for a close guy friend of mine... and I couldn't get him outta my thoughts. So, come sophomore year, I tried to convince myself that I was straight... so I got a gf and we kissed and hold hands. When her and I kissed though... I felt nothing. I was expecting, like, sparks to fly and for the stars to align or something. XD But no... I felt NOTHING. She'sas the first girl I kissed to... but then she wasn't exactly the nicest person, so we broke up (it was messy, but that's another story)... So now here I am.
    I honestly don't find girls as attractive as I once did... and everytime I see a cute guy, I have to look away in order to avoid anyone noticing me looking at them. XD I'm only out to a few people as "bi", but what if I was WRONG?

    I don't watch pr0nz, nor have I ever masturbated. So I can't answer what do I fantasize about...
    But what does this mean? Am I bisexual... or am I gay?
    I just don't even know anymore. -_-
     
  2. Holmes

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    Hormones go all sorts of crazy ways in our teens, my sexuality didn't properly settle till I was 22, so there's nothing unusual in what you say.

    As you're profile says, either way you like guys. How much you also like girls is a separate matter. Your relationships with girls don't seem to have worked, so maybe it's just a matter of focusing on boys.

    And this may seem a strange comment, but maybe you should start masturbating. Gay, bi or straight, it's healthy for men to masturbate regularly, particularly if they're single, whether it's once a day or even just once a month.
     
  3. Waffles

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    ... I've never had the urge or inclination to ever attempt it.
    Plus, oddly enough, I find masturbating to be... gross? Repulsive?
    It's just never been an appealing idea to me. ._.
     
  4. Okay, I'm going through pretty much the same thing. Maybe you just do what I'm trying to do, and just try to accept your attraction to men, and the fact that you aren't straight, then try and figure out what your attraction to women is. It sounds like we are in kind of the same boat.
     
  5. KaotikPrincess

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    Maybe you are bisexual transitioning into gay? Sometimes it happens and it is natural. It's all about sexual preference and I think that once you have experimented sexually with both genders it will become clearer to you if whether you are attracted to both genders or if you favor one over the other. I think that you won't really know for sure until you give it a test run. There is no rush to figure out your true sexuality. So just for now, if you must label yourself tell people you are bisexual, or bi-curious. Just remember that it's your life, not theirs and you don't have to answer to everybody. As long as you are happy that's all that matters. Hang in there buddy (*hug*)
     
  6. I used to feel guilty about masturbation. I don't know where I found it at but I found an article about how it's a healthy, natural thing to do.

    ---------- Post added 12th Apr 2012 at 10:52 AM ----------

    this ^. There is no rush.
     
  7. olides84

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    You don't need to masturbate to fantasize. You are thinking these things already. Basically, what you wrote makes me guess you are likely gay. When you talked about guys, you mentioned butterflies in your stomach, falling head over heels, and having to look away to avoid being embarrassed. When you talked about girls, you said things like "no sparks", "convincing" yourself to be straight/be attracted to girls. I would assume if someone is straight or truly bisexual, he wouldn't have to convince himself to be sexually attracted to females--it would come naturally. Whereas your natural attraction seems to be toward guys. Like others said, maybe try running with that idea for awhile...see where it takes you.
     
  8. Waffles

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    Well, I guess I should mention that I also had a crush on a girl for the LONGEST time. She always talked about girls, so I thought she was off limits.
    But but but BUT... she texted me saying she has a crush on me... So this came to me as a shock... but I think I'm gonna give it a go with her. I really like her, so hopefully all goes well. :3
    And NO, I did not convince myself to like her: I GENUINELY LIKE HER.
    So maybe I am so bi after all. :grin:
     
  9. Ummm. Never masturbated?! You're missing out dude :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: it's also supposed to be quite healthy.

    Before I start, I would like to point out that a lot of bisexual people end up being more on the gay side of the spectrum, because if they're more straight than gay, they 'go with the flow' in society and don't really open themselves up to that possibility.
    In terms of sexuality, you're probably somewhere in the bi/gay-leaning range, I think. When you're in your teens (so I've heard) your sexuality tends to be much less rigid. Personally, there are days when I'm crazy over guys and days when I'm crazy over girls. Just as long as you're happy with who you're with, it shouldn't matter. I would urge you to experiment with both genders (and again, masturbating), see what makes you "feel a spark".