Names and being Transgender

Well I'm not sure of this, are people already calling you by another female name?

 

Jaymee isn't a bad name if you like it. Its pretty gender neutral, can be both female or male.

 

I do. I haaate my RL name. It took a while for me to decide on a proper name I like; Hence Alexandria - Alexia for short. But yes, I am aware of the discomfort of given names.

 

My birth name is Savannah. I chose Atticus about three years ago. For me, it was not a tough decision. I read To Kill a Mockingbird for the first time in third grade. My dad and I had watched the movie together for as long as I can remember. I've always had a connection to the book and to the character and knew that if I had to have a reminder of who I wanted to be when I grew up, that Atticus Finch would be the best role model and to take his name would be the best way to honor him. I've thought about other names. I like Atlas, Axel, Maddox, and Bram and Lincoln, but they are all names I can't connect with as much as I do Atticus. For me, choosing my name was simple, but I had already established this emotional tie to it. If you haven't legally changed your name, you might look into books. I find they often have all the answers for us, even those about changing and choosing our names.

 

I'm not willing to mutter my birth name, but I despise it. I despise it so much that when I picked my female name, it was something completely unlike my male name. I don't understand why people pick a name that sounds like their birth name. Why would you want a name that will always remind you of your old name?

 

I'm not actually too touchy about my birth name; what actually bothers me the most (and always has) about it is that no one seems able to spell it correctly. Seriously, how hard is 'Jaimie' to spell? Pfffff! Anyway, I've been playing with the idea of just dropping the first 'i' to go to the more-masculine version (as in, the pet form of James rather than halfway between that and the anglicized j'aime, which I have always rebelled against being associated with XD) Thing is, though, it really isn't much of a difference, and there is zero auditory difference. So the name that came out of a cross-country name-brainstorming still floats around, Senn.

Also. Atticus is an awesome name. Never gotten around to reading To Kill a Mockingbird yet, but I got to work with a very nice GSD rescue by that name a while back

 

My birth names are Carmen and Brianna. I've been going with Bree, because it feels a bit more neutral...
That's always a question, isn't it? completely reject your old name or not? I always kind of wondered if people who are rejected by their families are more likely to choose a completely different name.
I've kind of been toying (only in my head) with the name Elijah, which I LOVE the sound of, but am not sure if the fact that it's considered biblical is too much.

 

My birth name is Bianca. It's a pretty name, but I never felt that it was right for me. For a male name, I picked Rhys mainly because I like Welsh names and it was one of the first names I came across that I liked. I'm trying to get comfortable with it, currently, and seeing if that name fits me properly. Other names I liked were, among others, Richard, Alexander, Nicolas, and Max, as well as a lot of "traditional" and old-fashioned names, but I picked Rhys because it "felt" like me and I knew too many other people with most of the other names I liked.

 

I eventually settled with Evelyn. Some people say it doesn't fit me but I don't really care. I chose it and I feel good about sticking with it. It's really up to you on what you choose, it's not legal until you file all the paperwork so feel free to experiment. Get to know whether or not you like hearing other people calling you each name before you make your final decision.

 

Since I'm bigender, I have a name for each of my 'personas'. Ironically, James is my male name Misty is my female name, due to the fact that I let my pokemon-loving girlfriend give me that name. I also picked a gender neutral name, for when I'm feeling in between male and female, which is what I am normally. It's Ari, and I love it, as well as my other names.

 

At one point, I was thinking about changing my name to James, which is nothing like my birth name, as it has no masculine form. I had been using it for maybe 1 and a half years, before I decided on Jamey instead. I thought about other spellings, like Jamie, Jaime, or Jayme, but decided that Jamey was closest to James, which I really liked, but wanted to go with a more androgynous name since I didn't pass yet. Eventually, my mother told me she wanted to name me Jamie originally, but my father wasn't crazy about it, and I grew to like it.

Anyway... androgynous names like Jaymee (as well as mine) have some pros and cons. Pros are:

1) If you don't pass yet, an androgynous name won't out you, compromise your safety, etc.

2) It can be easier for your friends and family to adjust. Also, if someone slips at the beginning of your name in public, it will sound similar and not seem suspicious.

On the other hand, cons include:

1) Having a feminine form of your name might seem too close to your birth name, which can cause dysphoria, especially if people already called you it as a nickname.

2) If your appearance is androgynous or you don't pass, people might just assume you're a male. A feminine name would offer less doubt or ambiguity.

Before you legally change your name, I would try to be sure that's something you can stick with, though. Not only is changing your name expensive, but it can take months to fix all your old documents, like insurance information, school records, and all that kind of stuff. Speaking from experience, it's a huge hassle, so you'll only want to do it once.

 

What about just Charni? I think it sounds cute.

 

actually i read when you use it in school homework, at workplace, or other places, in some ways the name does become legal name~just not like social security legal!

anyways, you wrote you wish you were a kitty? meow!

---------- Post added 13th Apr 2012 at 06:07 PM ----------

i just noticed in text bi-gender, bigender, looks a lot like BIG-ender.

 

How did you guys find a name that you thought fit you? Did you look through baby name sites, ask friends, etc.? Personally, I'm still trying to get used to being Rhys, but I've sort of imbued the name with my "true" persona, and though I still treat "Rhys" as somebody else living inside my head, for now, I'm getting more and more comfortable with being "him."

The problem with having a name that's so much different from your birth name is that it takes you a while to respond to it.... it takes me a second or two to respond to Rhys while if anyone whispers "Bianca!" I'll jump and turn around immediately.

 

The way I can relate is that I HATE my first name. It is an ancient, weird Greek name (and I am not Greek). I have several nicknames but a lot of people call me "reverend" or "father" when they want. Anyway, my advice is to be careful and very thrilled with the name you pick. Too many times it is a rush job, and in a year or so, the new name becomes tiresome. Take it from the idiot whose most commonly known nickname is "Dutch". (Me.)

 

I agree with Eww. It is imperative that you are excited about your name. I get excited about mine (even when I hear it in contexts that do not relate to me, I get excited. I have a friend with a dog named Atticus, there is a band whose name is Atticus--I've never listened to them--and a favorite song of mine is Heavy Abacus but it sounds like Heavy Atticus). Baby-naming sites are fun and educational; I use those for characters when I am writing. The same principle can be applied with your own name. Choose something that suits your personality, your aspirations, your tastes in vowel-consonant relationship. Put it in conjunction with your whole name (if you are keeping your middle and last name). I almost did not choose mine because "Atticus" ends in an "s" and my last name ends in an "s," but I like the way that "s" merges neatly into my middle name (Ray) which then sounds lovely with my last name. I take the same ideas into consideration when naming my dogs.

I hope I'm not rambling too much. I just really like this thread.

 

Now, I just thought of this and am so angry because I can't recall where it comes from, where I saw it or what. Basically the advice is to choose two or three things you love, things, people, doesn't matter, and cut the names in half. Then you join the two halves of the names into one name.

I read that it represents something about your past without saying really anything. Duality is what I suppose it is meant to express.

So for example, you may like apples, and you may like someone called Rose. According to the way I remember this procedure, you could then call yourself Ropple :lol: or Appose :roflmao: I know I'm being smart alecky but you could find beautiful names to use. Just a thought for your 'idea book'.

 

@Eww: That's actually a pretty cool idea, though as you can see it could end up with some really odd names

@Atticus: Yeah, that's why I'm sort of getting worried about the name I picked... Rhys was pretty much the first name that I liked, and I liked the name itself but felt it only partially fit me. I plan on modifying my last name when I turn eighteen, because Rhys doesn't sound good at all with my current last name, but it sounds better with my modified one.

I'm kind of hesitant to look for another name, though, because I've already told a couple of friends to call me Rhys, and I don't want them to think I'm crazy or too desperate if I tell them to call me another name.