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labels and seeking truth

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Deaf Not Blind, Apr 13, 2012.

?

If you are gay/lesbian, could you marry the opposite sex and be happy?

  1. 100% nope never, duh!

    34.1%
  2. eh, nearly impossible, but nothing is impossible if true love

    53.7%
  3. happiness isn't about the body shape, it is about person in it

    12.2%
  4. if he/she were rich, i could be happy! ;)

    9.8%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Deaf Not Blind

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    there are too many terms! i also read you can be gay and fall in love with opposite sex! GEE!

    so, i have never officially had sex. i had my friends, both genders, touch me when we were like 11, but that means nothing. I wore my senior year from time to time some clothing hinting at not being hetero.

    however, i recall watching tv as a kid about 12 and thinking as i watched the teens kiss would i want to be the guy or the girl? since about age 19 i have masterbated, and think of myself being opposite gender having sex. however, i find myself attracted to cute peeps of opposite sex in real life. even sadder, i don't usually want to kiss or have sex with opposite sex even if emotionally i like them and respect them.

    i met someone who is opposite sex and we have so much in common! i felt one day 100% i could marry this person. funny thing is, i found out later that person who makes me want to be totally monogamously morally straight and married is homosexual! GEE! ironic? darn wish they would say they are like 1% straight.

    i do sometimes, like randomly, wish i would spontaneously grow different genetalia. but even weirder, now besides so i could have sex with my own gender, i would do it with the opposite sex too. i must be a perv.

    anyways, i am trying to discover if i am straight, am i just bicurious, or bigender, or just need to get married and have sex?
     
  2. ThatCoopKid

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    I think you're trying to hard to conform to labels when you should just be yourself. I mean yeah, labels are cool and helpful, but if you don't know you just don't know. You've got the rest of your life to figure out what you are and aren't. Just get out there and experiment (safely of course) and find out :slight_smile:
     
  3. Deaf Not Blind

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    i move into dorm life this fall. i am kind of thinking about what is safe i can do to experiment. i don't want to try something only to be the rest of my college life labeled that for just trying, you know?
     
  4. AloneOutHere

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    put it this way: most guys like chicks who wear yoga pants. I like guys that can pull off the yoga pants look.
     
  5. Eww

    Eww Guest

    You are over-thinking this issue. My advice is just masturbate more.
     
  6. Deaf Not Blind

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    hahaha! something might break off! :grin:

    no but seriously, i hope i can figure it out sooner than say a decade from now, you know?

    thanks for all replys and poll takers.
     
  7. Eww

    Eww Guest

    Well, I want you to know you are not a "perv", you are not abnormal and you are still growing--as are we all. I will be leaving soon since an administrator or whatever he is doesn't like my style, so I can only tell you to stay strong, grow stronger and educate yourself. One day you'll look back and maybe you'll chuckle a little about the way things are now.

    Goodbye, then.
     
  8. Pseudojim

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    holy crap i'm not alone

    i have felt all of that, except i'm sexually attracted to both genders. i often fantasise as the opposite gender and still don't really know what to make of it! But i think it may be more common than one might think.
     
  9. Hot Pink

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    Speaking as someone who is panromantic, I could marry a guy if I was in love with him. It rarely happens, though, so I wouldn't hold my breath on it. Plus, I'm not sure how long a marriage would last without sex, since I might as well be asexual when it comes to romantic relationships with men. I can enjoy hugging, cuddling, snuggling, and even kisses with men, but anything beyond that is where I get extremely uncomfortable.
     
  10. Bree

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    If you're a perv, we're all screwed.

    I'm more often interested in guys than girls, (I think because I tend to be attracted to more "top" type people), but wear a binder and packer much of the time. Keep in mind that gender and orientation are two completely separate things.I know an MtF woman who is a lesbian- she used to look like a straight boy, but she simultaneously wanted to be with women and wanted to be a woman.
     
  11. Hot Pink

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    Uh, hello? *points to the left* Yeah, I've never considered myself a heterosexual male. I've always thought of myself as a homosexual female--yes, there is a difference.
     
  12. Deaf Not Blind

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    so is it ok then for me to say i think i am the opposite gender as far as my gender identity, that although i dress so closet straight, except occasional undies and socks, i have secretly thought i was that gender since age 12, and puberty just angered and hurt me? i hate my ugly genitals which are unusually big. i have actually looked up a few times in my life and begged God to make the right ones grow in. i tell people i don't date and have sex because i am waiting for the right one and marriage, but yesterday was epiphany as i realized if i were transgender and could somehow become who i want to be, i would not be celibate, the contrary, i would go enjoy myself finally.

    ---------- Post added 14th Apr 2012 at 03:34 PM ----------

    hey, you mean on the other side of the world is my twin ?:icon_bigg sweet!
    i am attracted to both too, but missing the equipment to do what i need. in this body, which straight people say is hot, i can't be with my own gender i just am not homosexual in my birth body. i also have never done it with opposite sex, hetero style, because though emotionally i like someone, it feels to my mind a turn off in this genetalia.
    but if i could have my real body, my true identity, i will be able to physically show my love for both genders and feel strangely enough moral. i wish i would wake up me!

    i have never told anyone all i am posting on this site before and it sure is good to be able to stay hidden and start to come out.
    i feel safe and it is getting me past my denial stage fast. thanks everyone!
     
  13. BajanBoy13

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    Nope. But only because i don't believe in marriage,I could be with the right guy though,but no marriage.
     
  14. Deaf Not Blind

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    I made this post i think on the 1st day i joined EC after I discovered the term Transgender and before I had done any coming out or transitioning.

    The poll was interesting abt half said nope cant be gay and marry opposite sex but almost as many kept their minds open that if they did love somebody opposite sex maybe it would be possible to marry them.

    Im curious what peeps think in 2013.
     
  15. BradThePug

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    I really don't think that I'd be happy if I married a man. I never have felt comfortable in relationships with men. Now, if by chance I did find a man that I like, I would not be opposed to marrying him. But, I don't think that that is going to happen.