So my bestfriend outed me to my cousin and two of my best friends the other day. And from what my cousin tells me how she did it and how it got brought up it wasn't an accident. Im not really mad tht they know im gay now i just feel bad because tht should have been my decision to tell them and it would have felt better comming from me. Im just kind of upset because she didn't appologize or say it wuz an accident. Now i am questioning if i can trust her. What do you guys think i should do to evaluate her trust?
My son was outed to his grandparents by his cousin. It would have been better coming from him but this kind of news is pretty big and people like to talk about it. I'd just try to forgive your bestfriend and go forward with your life. Being angry at them isn't going to do anybody any good.
The first girl i told almost outed me. she thought, by the way i told her, that others knew, or that i have been telling everyone. Think back to when you told your friend, she may have perceived you wrongly. If she has known for a while, then it may not be this. anyways, she is your friend and you are not mad people know, so just forgive her. try to think that you are happy that she did it, because it may have been harder for you to come out yourself.
I'm wondering the same thing as Gustav. Did your friend know that these people didn't know, and that you weren't telling people? Maybe if she knew how important this was for you, she wouldn't have done it. I definitely think you should talk about it with her, if it's bugging you this much.
I would talk to her and tell me how you feel. I have been basically outed myself by a 'friend', who didn't even apologise afterwards, and that really ruined our friendship. But now I hear he actually feels really bad about it and am hoping to re-establish our friendship. Another friend has also done a similar thing, but felt really bad and spoke to me about it, and it was easy to forgive him totally. Sometimes people just don't understand how important something like this is to people.
Agreed. You have a right to be annoyed at them, but the 'damage' has already been done. If you hold a grudge over it then you wont fix anything, and you'll just end up making the situation worse than it has to be. By all means talk to your friend - just don't fall out and argue over it.
