So to start, this is continuing from here : http://emptyclosets.com/forum/support-advice/59812-moving.html Next, please go easy on me, I really don't need I told you so's... So on april 3rd, i did send a check out for rent on an apartment, we had a month by month agreement so no lease to sign. But before I did, I called and asked my bf if he was sure of he wanted to go through with this before I sent the check out because there would be no going back after that. And he said(direct quote) "if I didn't want you to come down here I wouldn't have let you get this far". So everything was great this past weekend with my boyfriend and I, overly romantic text messages and lovey dovey stuff and we were both talking about being excited for me to move down there. Then Saturday he stops texting and talking to me... Like completely. And Wednesday he texted me and said that he didn't want me to move anymore, and that he needed to focus on work and school. And so I of course freak out because it's too late for that, and he starts saying that he would worry about me and just can't have that, and so he wants me to stay here. So I told him fine, and have left him alone for the past two days, well I got on Facebook and saw it, "mike went from 'being in a relationship' to 'single'" like he honestly I think broke up with me over Facebook... I don't even know what to do... I live with his mom but honestly can't do that anymore, so I'm actually in a parking lot at a local grocery store a town over sleeping in my car because I don't even want to go home.... I quit my job already and they already filled my position, I found someone to take my apartment already, and the girl who I was going to live with in Texas already cashed my check for rent so there is $600 just gone... I have $150 left to my name, with no home, nothing. I can't return to my parents because it's too stressful there with my parents divorce going on... Like I just don'ti even know what to do anymore. I'm devastated and furious that I was broken up with through Facebook, and sad and confused because he never acted like this before and everything was going great, and then out of no where he changed like a light switch was flipped... I feel stupid and like I did something wrong. And I just don't know what to do... Like I cant find an apartment in the city I live in because it is a college town and most people have all housing set by now... And I don't exactly have the money for that kind of stuff anymore... I don't know what happened... My entire life feels like it has crumbled around me and I don't know what to do.
I'm sorry the situation worked out as it did. But on the positive side... MUCH better that you found out now, instead of after you got down there. For what it's worth, a lot of people, including a lot of people a lot older (and presumably wiser) than you have done exactly the same thing. Hopefully, then, this is an experience you learn from, and the cost of that lesson, while expensive, really isn't so bad in the long run. So I think the first thing is to take stock of the situation. I know it feels awkward to live with his parents, but if they genuinely like you, and I believe you indicated they did and do, it might make sense to just go and openly and honestly talk to them and explain the situation. I'm sure they would be OK with your staying there at least until you get your feet on the ground again. And as much as it sucks to do so... pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get looking for a new job. Who knows, perhaps you'll end up with one you like better than the last one. And while it may feel like you can't find anything... I've lived in several college towns, and my experience is, there's always *something* you can find, because somebody's plans changed at the last minute. It might not be the perfect, ideal situation, but cheap, serviceable housing is pretty easy to come by in most college towns, and particularly as you're coming up on summer, it will probably be easier to find summer sublets, which will buy you more time to find something you really like. Yes, your boyfriend treated you like crap. And it's messed up. But it happens, and as I said above, better now than after you're there for a month. The single most important piece of advice I can give you is to take the situation and learn from it. Honestly, if he was willing to do this, on this basis, it should be clear that he wasn't the right person to be in a relationship with in the first place. Perhaps it would be good to avoid relationships for a while and explore yourself and your own patterns in relationships before entering into a new one. That way, you're unlikely to repeat the same experience again. As much as it sucks to have situations like this, we can learn from them, and ultimately, they can make us stronger.
I can only echo what Chip has said. You're in a crappy situation, but you at least seem to have a place to stay temporarily, even if it is in your ex-bf's parents place. Explain the situation to them, stay there, be the perfect guest (ask what chores you can do to help out). Then start rebuilding. Start pounding the bricks looking for a job. Cut your expenses to the bone. If you have unlimited Internet, then that's your entertainment or ow. If you don't, it's gonna be the radio and library books. (Been there, done that.) and if you haven't done so already, defriend and block this guy on Facebook. You have all the evidence you need that he's no friend. Lex
I am so sorry about what your experiencing now. Honestly I was almost in the same position. let me tell you a bit, then you'll see what I mean and hopefully also get a few ideas. I moved out of my folks house to the city about 400km away. I worked at a computer sales and repairs company by then and lived with my sister and her boyfriend. Everything went fine for 2 years, then the bomb shell hit. Ok let me back track a little bit. I got a job offer within the government to be their system administration for the ministry of health and social services. The appointment was supposed to start the next year on January. So in the beginning of October I gave my current employer 3 months notice. When I showed up at the new work in January, the minister himself appointed his own son to be the administrator. Just like that without any work. I am the kind of person that never goes back to employers that I left (only once though but far later than this) so I sat without a job. I send CV's out to every tom dick and harry, but no luck. I walked this city flat from one suburb to the next looking for a job. I ended up selling my PC (my PC was and is my life. I can loose myself in it and not having to face any difficulty) to make up for my part of the rent my sister paid to the landlord. I even started to sell my novels. As I am a smoker, that also got to me, I couldn't afford to by any cigarettes. I was so low, that while I walked the streets, I picked up little buds that still had some tobacco in it. When I return home late in the night my pocket was half full so I could roll my own cigarette from old newspapers and old telephone book pages. I later on started to fall behind on the rent, I've sold everything I owned including some of my clothes! This went on for like several months. Until one day when I sold the last computer (I had 2 before this) at a second hand shop, the owner offered me a temporary position to fix odds and ends that came into his shop. It wasn't much, the money I got was like 50 bucks a day and I only worked 4 days of the month. Still not enough for rent and by that time I owed my sister over 5000 in overdue rent. She decided to kick me out! After this I looked at suicide as an option. I lived in the streets with some really mean street kids. But then I met this one guy who also is homeless, so I kinda moved in with him into the old broken down house with more than half the roof gone, no glass in front of the windows and no doors in the entire building. We lived of some food we asked from people and so on. Eventually another second hand shop (the opposition I worked for) offered me a permanent job. The salary still wasn't good enough, but little by little I could pay my sister back. Eventually they retrenched me, so I was back at square 1. After seeing every person imaginable for a job, I kinda strike it lucky, a guy offered me a job in his new company. So I started to work for that guy. Eventually I could move back to my sister, but then the guy stopped paying me for 6 months. So I was again back at square 1, and had to move out again. (By this time my sister decided to move to the UK for 2 years. So immediately I had no support in the city accept my homeless friend. So 6 months went by, I did a few odds and ends construction jobs with my friend. We grew close like brothers. I even went with him once to visit his family (in the squatters camp about a 100km out of the city). Well eventually I met up with another friend I've met when I worked for the first computer company, she was absolutely adorable, and will always have a place in my heart. She understood my situation, she spoke to her boss, who decided to give me a job. Well I worked there for 4 years. And if you read some of my other posts, you will see where my life went to. I guess what I am trying to say is this. No matter who you are, what kind of work you have, which friends you have (when I became homeless all my friends wrote me off accept one guy... I kinda had something with him, but that's besides the point) that no one is immune to life's ups and downs. But if you keep on trying, you'll eventually succeed to more that what you were before this down started. Today, with that experience I had, If it comes to that again, I know what to do and how to do it. I am stronger because of this experiences. Your experiences will make you stronger. You have to just hold on, and keep working at it. Even if it means walking your legs off for a simple little job. Believe me, in this city, I've walked in every possible place, I walked so much that I believe If I walked on a straight line that I maybe could have walked around the world twice! ---------- Post added 21st May 2012 at 05:15 PM ---------- Oh this is actually the first time ever that I admitted to anyone that I was homeless, well accept my husband, he knows my entire life's story.
