Well, I'm 14, going on 15 in June, and when I told my parents I'm gay, they said God doesn't make gay people (my family are all strong Christians) and I said, God made me, I CHOOSE to be this way. Well, I now have to be forced to see a counselor about it (my dad has known him for 10 years and he's pretty nice). He told me I'm just confused and I just agreed to make it go by faster and he also said I have to wait a few years (like till I'm 18) to decide, but I KNOW I'm gay now. Girls are unattractive, boys are hot. So, when I'm 18 should I just go to my parents and say: "I've been gay all this time, not confused. Bye, off to college"? My plans after college is to move to California with my best friend, Bre. She'll have a girlfriend, I'll have a boyfriend/husband. I still want my parents to acknowledge me afterwards.
It may be simpler to just lie and let your parents believe you're straight. If they feel like your counselor (who is obviously incompetent and probably a Christian counselor who subscribes to the widely disproven notion that "it's a choice") isn't doing a good enough job of "fixing" you, they could send you to one of the awful "straight camps" so I think you're better off just keeping your mouth shut. 3 years is a long time, but it's probably the easier route.
Yeah...straight camp would be awful :X But, what if they ask me if I have a girlfriend or why I don't get one ?
You could say that you are waiting until after college to focus on your school work. But it might be hard to say with a straight face though lol.... But I agree with Chip. You don't want to get yourself into a situation where your parents try and force you to do something. Once you turn 18 and go off to college, they can't do that anymore. Also, if the counselor is a friend of the family, I would just be careful what you say to him. When you go to a social worker, the FIRST thing they tell you is that what you discuss with him or her is confidential, and that unless you say your are going to hurt yourself or someone else, they are not allowed to discuss it with ANYONE including your parents. If he's a friend of the family I would just be concerned he was telling stuff to my parents.. But that's just me...
You could say that you're waiting for "God to guide me towards the girl He's chosen" or something along those lines...
Ooh! I like that line. Though... if you've always been non-religious toward your parents, they probably won't buy it. On the other hand... not to offend you or your parents, but I'm constantly amazed at the BS some bigoted Christians will buy into, so maybe they'd believe you.
Today I watched a movie called 'Prayers for Bobby' and I think it's a movie that any religious parents of gay children should see. It's based on a true story and is pretty heartbreaking. I won't ruin the plot, but seriously, if that movie cannot change the views of a religious person, nothing will.
There's also For the Bible Tells Me So, For the Bible Tells Me So (2007) - IMDb. A documentary that I highly recommend you watch, and in time, have your parents/family watch. As previously posted, there's the excellent blog on being gay and Christian at The Best Case For the Bible NOT Condemning Homosexuality | JohnShore.com. There are plenty of resources out there that you can research for your own as you grow into your sexual orientation. Give your family time as this is a coming out process for them too. They'll need to accept that homosexuality does not equal sinning against God before they'll be ready to accept you as a gay son. It may be awhile, but I'm quite positive that they'll come around to realize you are no different than you were before, except that you're just more honest about who you are. Good luck on setting your dreams west. I pointed mine north to New York and it's been the best decision I've ever made.
My family are all strong Christians too, so I know exactly what you are dealing with. I grew up in an Evangelical bubble. When I was 14, It was obvious that I was gay, but I didn't understand what I was feeling. This was before there was so much information available on the internet so I had nobody to talk to or connect with. I don't find it is surprising that you understand what you are feeling now and its not likely to change by the time you are 18. That being said, its probably best not to continue to have the "I'm gay" discussion with your parents (considering their religious beliefs) while you are still dependent on them. If you will depend on them for college money, you may need to wait until after college as well to really discuss the subject (unless you are sure they won't cut you off). I don't know your parents, but I know how anti-gay Christians think (generally) and you are not likely to convince them while they want something different for you. What if they ask you about getting a gf? Oh man... I still have to deal with that. For me now its just easier to talk about being too busy with work. That comment someone mentioned about "waiting for God to guide me towards the girl He's chosen". That's really good and any Evangelical will totally eat that up...just be prepared if they decide to be God's instrument and start playing matchmaker (Honey...God is pressing on my heart to introduce you to my friends daughter...she will be here for dinner tonight). Once you are no longer dependent on your parents, well...idk, I can't seem to figure it out for myself.
Your parents will probably buy whatever reason you give for not having a girlfriend... They'll be in denial anyways, it should be easy, right?
We aren't THAT big of Christians, I'm a Christian too, but they wouldn't buy that, they aren't stupid like that xD
I would just do whatever it took to go through the next 3 years, even if it meant telling them you were straight. Then once you're out of that house you can be who you are.
