*LONG READ* Hello guys and gals. So I've been a member of this site since late 2010 and I can definitely say that this site helped me through a very difficult time because I was learning to accept myself and become more comfortable in my own skin. I can say that since the time I join, I have grown A LOT. But even with all that growth, I've found myself still hurting and doubting myself as a human being. I sometimes felt really worthless at times and didn't think that I could have the strength to really go on and live my life to the fullest. That is until I met this guy that I had so much and common with...that it was a little surreal. Only problem is...he stayed in North Carolina while I stay in Texas. We both had a connection but we just wanted to be friends because we knew that it would be rough to try for a relationship. As time went on, we talked to each other about all our problems, ups and downs and we grew closer despite distance. Eventually...after months of being friends, we would try for a long distance relationship because we both felt like there was no other guy that we can connect with the way we connected with each other. So starting off, things were really cool. We knew going in there would be ups and downs, but we promised we were gonna work through them. Me? I now had something to strive for and I was going to try my hardest to get to him because I felt like there was no one alive I'd rather be with. He felt the same way. But then...something changed. I'm not sure what happened but somewhere along the way, he grew distant (no pun intended). Very slowly, but surely, the things we said to each other wouldn't happen, started happening. He was still hurt by the way his ex did him as far as being his first and really dogging him. Day after day, he stopped caring. But I didn't stop caring, I did my damnest to try and make sure it would work. Well last week, after 4 months of trying...he decided he "wanted to end it." He wanted to work on himself he said, and he said he didn't deserve me. Yes bullshit lines, but I believed him because I knew what he had gone through. Well...we follow each other on twitter, and already he was out with this other guy, talking about how happy he was and now I am hurting in a way I have never felt before. I talked to him again to try and clarify...I was trying to find out what was wrong with me and what did I do wrong? He still says no its just me. Yea it is just you. Because my feelings never changed. I loved him, I gave my all to try and make it work bcuz that was the promise we made, and he just wanted to "end it." He used me to make himself feel better about all of his problems, and then once he got tired of me, he ended it. Great. So here I am now...back depressed and feeling worthless and hurt. I loved him...hell I still do. I may seem crazy to you guys being in love with somebody miles away, but I really believed that we really had something special. I was wrong...because if he felt the way I feel about him...we would be a month away from me flying to him and being with him like I promised I would. Sigh...it just hurts. Funny thing is, I want to cry everyday but I have yet to shed a tear...for some reason...I can't even cry. I'm just holding these feelings on my heart. I don't know if I need advice because I know I just have to get over it, but its so much easier said than done. Sorry for the long post guys.
First of all, a certain someone needs a hug. *hug* So, this guy basically toyed with your emotions and then threw you away like an old toy? What an azzhole. D:< That's pretty low for him (or anypne in general) to date someone just to make them feel better about themselves. They don't think they did anything wrong, but yet they're not in our position here: our feelings are actually hurt. Fate has you paired up with a better man: one that will treat you right and NEVER break your heart. Getting over these kinds of things isn't easy either; it's gonna take some time, but you'll be able to overcome these feelings sooner or later. The first guy I had a crush on... I liked him for THREE YEARS, and I only got over him literally a week ago. But don't feel alone bro: there are other people who know your pain, and we're here for ya! Stay strong, bro!
Thank you so much for replying! (*hug*) I was afraid I had made the post too long and people just didn't feel like reading it (understandable lol). But yes, I'm doing a lot better now. I deleted his number from my phone, all our messages we had sent to each other, any pics or anything that reminded me of all of it. And I've avoided Twitter like the plague since I know he will tweet about his new bf or w/e. Its ok though, bcuz someone else is gonna be lucky to have me and he's gonna realize that he lost the best thing that ever happened to him. I just wish it was easier to find my type of guy x_x
