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Hi Julia, welcome to EC! I actually came out to two close friends at first. Both took it well, although I parted ways with one for other reasons than the sexuality thing, and the other I still talk to to this day. The trick is just to start off with the person you trust most, if you're ready for it, and then work your way up from there. That's what I'm slowly doing. I'll probably tell my mom by the end of the year, and my sister.

 

You may want to come out to someone who you already know is LGBT. They will probably be the most accepting. It was easier for me because the first person I told is both bi and my best friend.

 

hello my name is 2jreyes im bi umm i new to this website but the truth is tht it is hard to tell someone that ur bi gay or lesbian but honestly o think u should tell ur bro an sis makes u feel better around them if thy knwn.dont tell parents yet! telling friends well unless ur like close to them u shouldnt be afraid or one at a time is acually the best way

 

I came out to one of my best friends who was gay so I knew he would accept me and. Kyle help me come out to my other friends. The first girl I came out to was a really close friend that had a cousin that was a lesbian. I actually haven't come out to anyone that isn't connected in some way to the gay community.

 

Hi Julia welcome to the EC. Well I'm still living in my closet so i can't tell you my coming out story. I understand that fully accepting your sexuality is difficult. For example I'm in the stage that I know I'm a Lesbian though I have my days where I want to deny it to myself. Like you I have no one in my life that I can talk to about the real me and not the person I show to my friends and family. Thanx to this community I'm not so lonely and I hope it becomes the same for you. Also if or when you come out to your cousin good luck

 

The first person I ever brought the subject up to was my husband lol, I was married for ten yrs but was never quite in it full hearted, just thought that was what was expected of me. He actually brought it up as a joke because his best friend was a lesbian and he figured it was going to be like a bad country song where the wife runs off with the best friend, lol. I have problems admitting it to myself most days but I am a lesbian and I haven't found the courage to say it to the world yet. Although I've only been apart of this site for a few days I already feel better about my confusion.

 

heyy Julia!! I was in a similar situation myself two years ago.. It took me about four years to accept that I was bi.. I finally told myself one day that it was who I am and there is nothing that can change it. When I finally came out it was to my best friend, Lana, who is also bi. It was the best thing I could have done. She was so happy when I told her, and it kind of helped me officially accept it also... Just take it slow.. Its been two years since i came out to Lana, and since then I've only told two more of my friends, and both of them took it well.. So, just take it slow, but be cautious. You don't want to tell a friend who you know can't keep their mouth shut.. Good luck Julia!!! :-D

 

Hi, julia, and welcome to EC!

First off, it's completely normal to be uncomfortable about coming out when you're still getting used to the idea. It's a scary thought, given that you have no idea how the people in your life will react, or whether your relationships will change. Heck, I'm about 1.5 years into coming out to myself, and I'm still uncomfortable using the "L" or even the "G" word.

My memory of my first coming out is pretty hazy, but I do remember that at one time, a classmate of mine from grad school invited me out to meet up with her friends, and I told all of them after a bit of encouragement. I believe that my friend (the classmate) caught on earlier that I was questioning my sexuality (or at least that something personal was bothering me) and invited me out partly as a "getting to know you" gesture and partly as a gesture to give me a friendly outlet to voice my feelings.

If it's not too inconvenient to meet up with your cousin, you can call her and tell her at first that you miss her and want to do some catching up (not that this isn't true, but don't let on that something's up). If it's inconvenient, I think that you should call or write a letter, unless you're firmly against the idea of telling her in any way except in person. At the very least, choosing to call or write would still count as doing it on your terms.

 

Hey welcome to EC.

 

Welcome!

I started with telling one of my close friends, not like "hey i need to tell you something" but instead the topic came up and I jumped into it. She's not LGBT herself but has some other friends who are, so I knew she would be accepting. So if there's a friend who you know will be accepting and/or has other gay friends, maybe talk to him/her first?

Also. it's pretty normal to be scared. First weeks of january I decided "okay, now it's time to come out", planned a conversation in my head etc... but I chickened out every time, like 6 or 7 times. It took me another 3 months before I finally told someone but having it off your chest feels so great!

Hope this helps, good luck!

 

I came out to my cousin who i was REALLY close to and i knew that she had a gay friend so she was totally cool with it we even joked about me stealing her BF

 

I'm still in the process of accepting myself too, and the best thing i've done is talking to people on here, and two of the few LGBT people I know, so this is sound advice.

 

Thank you but I really wish that I would have had the courage to be honest with myself when I was younger. My husband actually got very sick and I ended up taking care of him until he passed away almost three years ago. He once told me that he had thought I was early on in our relationship but he loved me and wanted to be with me no matter what. He was a good guy with a great heart. I loved him but not completly as I should have. I still have a lot of guilt about that. He deserved someone better then me.

And I don't mind answering any questions :lol: Outside I'm very closed mouthed about my life and past (I'm very good at living in denial lol) but that's why I joined here. I need to get more comfortable with who I am!

 

Well I'm sorry to hear that he passed away, that still must've been difficult. One thing I do know is that you can't change the past, and you certainly shouldn't beat yourself up over it. If you live anywhere near an LGBT center, I would check it out if I were you. I used to live near one, and the first time I went to it I was so nervous I almost threw up. But once you talk to the people inside, you find out that they don't bite, and they are no different than anyone else.

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Something else you can do, something I am doing right now, is go to youtube and search for coming out stories, or I'm gay, or anything like that, there are so many people who have posted there, with some incredible stories, and some amazing inspiration.

 

The search 'it gets better' comes up with alot of stuff about coming out

 

That would work too. I'll find a few of the ones that really helped me and I'll post them shortly.

 

Not that its limited to lesbians, but these videos for sure made me feel better about being a lesbian. Youtube the "Beaverbunch".

beaverbunch - YouTube