Coming to terms....

Coming out to yourself or accepting yourself is an extremely emotional process, I think you are totally normal. I found that I went backwards and forwards a lot as well, I would just think I was making progress and then for no apparent reason I would feel like I fell back a couple of steps. It can be a lengthy process. I would suggest chatting to some people here either in your real life (if you have people) or here on EC, either staff or just members anyone you feel comfortable with, post on anyones wall you like, noone will take offense and just share (with those you feel comfortable) how you feel and they will share their stories back and im sure it will make you feel better.

 

Completely normal dude. I don't cry hardly ever but I cried over a movie for the first time ever. I was watching Prayers For Bobby and it was really.good.but I have never cried over a sad movie before Lol it helps me if I write stuff down and organise my thoughts. If you wanna talk to me feel free

 

Often people need a good cry. I don't cry often either, but when I do, I feel a sense of renewal. I remember when I first accepted myself, it was weird because it was a fast transition from hating the way I was to being completely accepting of it.

 

I think it is totally normal, and it takes time. It took me 2 years, I hope it doesn't take as long for you as it did me. I had a period where I just cryed for no reason, and I didn't understand why. I would watch a sad movie and I would cry (which I guess wasn't that suprising), but then I would watch a happy movie and I would cry thinking that I can never have that happiness.

Once I started to come out, I can't say I had a super quick transition as Lewissss. I felt better thats for sure, but I was still prone to the random sudden phases of being really depressed and wanting to curl up and cry to sleep again. Taking to people really helps, and here is a great place to connect with people if you don't have anyone to talk to at home.

 

WELL cannt speak for everyone...but im a super tendered hearted person ..And with coming to grips with who i really im has made me cry even more..i think its normal..for me i felt like a let down to my family and my children...give yourself time..good luck my friend..just find someone ya can talk to about your feeling..

 

Omg I just want to hug you right now! (*hug*) I've cried myself to sleep a few times too so I know exactly how you feel! Its probably taking down a barrier as you have said and is now able to take in things with a new perspective. Or perhaps you're crying so much because you're finally accepting yourself and wanting to be with someone. Anyway there's nothing wrong with crying

 

Hugging you too.(*hug*)

 

You aren't necessarily super-emotional or anything, but reevaluating (and basically reconstructing) your whole identity is a taxing process; you basically have to examine yourself from the inside-out, as honestly as you possibly can. This becomes an even bigger difference from regular life when you consider that most of us, as closeted people, repress things a lot further than other people.

I wouldn't worry about it. In fact, I'd say it's a good thing - sounds like you're really tapping into what you're feeling.

 

I think this is pretty perceptive observation on your part, bravo for being able to recognize and acknowledge your emotional self! And our stories sound pretty similar; even when I was little I had a lot of trouble emoting, and for whatever reason I bottled up my feelings rather than let them out in a healthy way. And so it went, and looking back I can see how connected it was to being gay. It was easier to wall myself off rather than be me, it was all or nothing.

So fast forward to 4 weeks ago when I came out to the entirety of my immediate family in a matter of 36 hours. It was such a whirlwind that mentally I knew what I was doing, but I couldn't emotionally keep up. So on the drive home after coming out first to my mom, and then to my dad when he got home, I just started bawling on the drive home. It was like feeling all emotions at once, from happiness to sadness to anger, and the only way they could come out was through crying.

I've equalized quite a bit since then, and though I wouldn't describe myself as emotional, I would say I am far more in touch with how I feel. So keep your chin up, it's just a mater of reaching an emotional equilibrium.

And sorry that once again I gave an entirely too wordy response, it's a bad habit of mine.

 

I'm going through a similar thing...yesterday I randomly started crying in the shower...it's a very emotional time for me and I keep going forward and backward with my thoughts...let me know if u want to talk..it sounds like we r in a similar situation

 

I think it's normal like a lot of people have said. There are a few times where I have been driving home and i'll be listening to music, and out of nowhere i'll get really sad and upset weather it's me thinking about something or hearing a song on the radio. Also like someone said above sometimes even happy things get me that way. And by no means am I usually like this, I mean i've been to funerals and held it in lol, but recently sometimes I just loose it.

I think all this stuff just wears you down. Between trying to figure out who you are, putting on an act to prevent people form finding out who you are, dealing with the other stuff that life throws at you, it's just really exhausting. I want a vacation lol.

 

I know how you feel. I've noticed myself becoming more emotional in general in the past few years due to coming to the realization that I was (and still am) missing out on many life events. I think that this realization and some intense introspection led me to discovering my sexual orientation. Prior to this happening, I wouldn't have blamed anyone for thinking that I was a robot for my lack of outward emotion.

Like BudderMC said, introspection is an emotionally taxing process, especially for many gay people who have to construct multiple (sometimes conflicting) identities just to hide their sexual preferences in a society that still doesn't entirely embrace sexualities other than heterosexuality. It's good that you are experiencing release in the form of crying, and it's definitely much better than doing no introspection at all. You could go worse than feeling more deeply.