I feel like an absolute doormat lately who's lucky to even get her voice to be heard when she needs to. I don't know what's up with my circle of "friends" lately, but the past few days I've felt like the most boring person on earth. I guess it's been gradual, but none of my friends seem the least bit interested in me lately, not even to look up, smile, and say hi as if they're happy to see me. They hardly acknowledge I'm there at all, so I've just been staying out of their way today. I just got out of a big fight with my "best friend," and she does smile when she sees me, but she's been spending a majority of her time with another of her close friends. At the beginning of this semester this other girl and I made an arrangement to share mah bestie in a mature way every other day so we wouldn't be hogging her, but for the past three weeks now I've only gotten to eat lunch with her once. They'll both come over to my table close to or after the bell to greet me, but now since she's not been sitting there then another girl has taken her seat. And this new girl will get into a three-way bubble of conversation with my second best friend and another friend, complete with inside jokes and suddenly all getting up at once to go to the lunch line, completely ignoring my sister and I. :dry: After lunch I have PE with my second best friend, but since another of her friends came into our PE class this semester I'll walk into the locker room and already find them absorbed in conversation, not even acknowledging me. And then they don't want to be rude (heaven forbid), so they wait for me, who comes in later, before continuing their own conversation but just lagging behind me. I've told them that if they really want to go ahead then they don't have to wait for me, but they insist. So I've just started going off without them to see if they'll notice (they haven't), even after PE when we have the same painting class. No one says anything; no one even notices.:dry: I have to go to prom with these people next week and I really am not looking forward to it! :tears: My best friend isn't going at all. Knowing them, they'll sit with my sister and me and all that since we already bought tickets together, but then they'll go off on their own and only talk to each other. It feels like all these people are all someone else's friends, not mine. They're all typical high school girls who like to talk about American Idol and their boyfriends and how they should do their hair, so I feel completely left out. I'm a lesbian still in the closet and I feel like there's some weird border that I can't cross. And how do I talk to them about it if they treat me so indifferently? I feel so pathetic. I feel so stupid. I feel like such a waste of time. I'm so frustrated and disapointed in all these people. At this point I just want to graduate as soon as possible and get out of here. Is it my fault for not trying to relate to them more? Should I get into stuff like American Idol and their favorite bands just so I can talk about trivial stuff I don't care about? Just so they'll like me? I feel like even if I did want to talk to someone about what's bothering me, no one would really care or they'd just consider it not their problem. I'm done talking to my "best friend" because by now I know she won't help me even though I've asked her directly and told her that I need more support than I'm getting. She won't help me even if I begged her, so what's the point in trying anymore if no one will accept me? What should I do?
have you tried looking for other people you have more common interest in? you sound like my best friend, she only stuck with her past friends because they were together since the beginning of highschool, she was more of a nerd and liked to talk science and human rights while her friends loved to talk about Kpop, clothes, drama and all those things girls like to do, she wasnt really into that kind of stuff, and it didnt help that the majority of the grade thought she was weird also then one day we were paired up for a certain event and we hit it off, i liked to talk science and human rights also, and even better was when i introduced her to gaming she became addicted LOL. maybe you should try looking out for people with common interest, who knows, maybe you may find a best friend along the way who's into all the things your into, someone you can bitch to, and have laughs with.
I guess there is a period in your life where you can "outgrow" your friends it has happened to me. Your growing older and your interests, hobbies, values, and such change. There comes a moment in your life where you have to begin looking for new friends that you can relate to. Its understandable that you would like to conform to them and start liking the stuff they like, but in the end you will probably feel miserable. Do you think those friends are worth you becoming something your not?
I nthink it's time to find some new friends as these people are only dragging you down. A true friend will be there for you when you need them, not hold you at arm's length.
As painful as it is, sometimes we do lose friends as we get older. We discover more about ourselves, and in doing so realize that we don't actually have that much in common with them. There isn't much you can do to improve your situation with your friends if you truly are growing apart. From my understanding few people remain close to their high school friends once they get out of school. Instead, focus on yourself, exploring your interests and who you are. It will actually make it easier to find people you can relate to and be friends with, plus you'll feel better about yourself overall. Don't try to be someone you're not just to please them -- if they can't accept you for who you are, then they won't make good friends. I take it you're graduating this year? If you're going to college, I would suggest that you start looking into campus groups and organizations for topics that you're interested in. Even if you don't plan on going to college, if you will be living near a major city there are bound to be plenty of opportunities for meeting people and exploring interests.
