So i have a girlfriend and we have been dating for around 7 months. My mum already knew she was a lesbian as we have been friends(although it was always a little more than that) for like 3 years. But think she might know somethings going on now because of the amount of time were spending together. We were talking about her being gay, Mum:well yeah that's cool if she gay, of course am not gonna discriminate about it. Me: Her mum seems to though. Would you do the same Mum: Well i know you straight Me: How? Mum: I just know, you betta not be gay. This was like 8 months ago and has never been discussed since. My mum was talking about me getting a boyfriend. So i said 'but i'm gay. I have a girlfriend. You know i do....right.' She just glared at me(the way mums do when you have done something wrong) and walked away. This was only like a day ago but we haven't spoke at all since then and i just feel really on edge about approaching her. I want us to be able to talk about it, but i don't know how to react to her reaction.:help:
She's just in shock, at least give her a few weeks. You need to let her come to you, once she is ready to accept it I'm sure she will. She seems accepting of your friend so I see no reason why she won't be of you. She just needs to get over idea of what she has lost, it's typical for parents to feel as though they have lost their child in these cases, like your mum may now think that she has lost any future grandchildren. It's just one of the things going through her now most likely. Only time will tell don't confront her though, she will be on edge, upset, angry, shocked etc.
My momwas sort of the same way. She doesn't hate gay people, but she when I told her, she kept trying to figure out a reason why I am gay. She wouldn't talk to me for the first 2 days after I told her. If you give your mom some time to adjust, she will be comfortable with your sexuality. It takes time, but she'll get there
I agree with the other posters, absolutely. It always takes time. I'm sure she'll come around, and learn to accept you for who you are. She could have reacted a lot worse, so that's one good thing. Give it time. The other day, you told me that you and your mum aren't close at all- this will probably fix that. Eventually, you two are gonna sit down, talk it out, and hopefully it will bring you closer together than you were before. Wait it out, keep your distance for a while. She'll come around. xx
Perhaps you could download some information from the PFLAG website and then just casually leave it on the side where she will find it, that way you are not forcing her to read it, or to talk about it but curiosity might just tempt her into reading it and if she reads it then it might help her. It sounds to me like she will be supportive in time, but that it has come as a bit of a shock to her so she just needs a bit of time to get used to the idea.
Thanks for all the advice guys. At least i know it's not just my mum, and yeah i hope this does bring us closer, but i don't think it will I understand how shocked she must be. Yesterday we spoke briefly(this is rare aha) and she just said "well do whatever you want, but do not dare tell anyone else in the family especially your dad" and told me that she will be mad if i tell anybody at school. I don't know what to say to her because quite a lot of people already know at school.