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Being gay is a trend....??

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kylegf2011, Apr 18, 2012.

  1. kylegf2011

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    My mom is always saying this when the topic is brought up, she says that it is a trend to be gay, so many people decide to be gay because its different. But the other day a friend of mine said the exact same thing, she said that she believed that there are some gay people, but we see them alot today because its a trend....?? have you heard this before? and is there any truth to it?
     
  2. julia

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    I personally think people aren't as scared to come out today as people were years ago when it wasn't as accepted. That may be why people think it's a "trend" today.
     
  3. Brenny

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    I do not see how it could be a trend. You can "act" gay but people wouldn't be doing it to be cool. I don't know many straight guys who would go gay just to be trendy. . .

    I think it is easier to be gay now than in the past so that certainly helps. Part of me likes being different but I really don't want the attention. Most of the attention isn't necessarily positive anyway. And there is the complete possibility that there simply are more gay people nowadays being born. Who knows? At least from they guys perspective. . . it is NOT "trendy" to be a gay man.
     
  4. waitingfordawn

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    Gay as trendy... no. Certainly not in men. But bisexuality, yes, especially in girls--often, though, "bisexual" girls are just saying that to seem edgy and different and attract mens' attention, which discredits people who actually ARE bisexual. But yeah--it's not trendy for women or men to be gay, but to be bisexual (if you are a girl), certainly.
     
  5. julia

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    Oh god, the amount of straight girls making out with other girls pisses me off like you wouldn't believe. Especially if it's in front of a guy. Ugh.
     
  6. fireworks

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    ^^this. I totally agree :slight_smile: a tonne of girls call themselves bisexual just to grab guys' attention. I guess it is trendy, but by no means is actually being gay 'a trend'. I find it slightly offensive- I did not CHOOSE to be this way because I thought itwas cool. Why would I choose to make my life more difficult than it already is?
     
  7. TroubledRyan

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    Being gay has become more acceptable, so obviously more people are going to come out. But with this newacceptance, comes the people who are simply curious. So they experiment and find out it isn't as 'cool' as they once thought.

    There is nothing trendy or cool about a sexual orentation.
     
  8. Thoughtsrus

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    I've heard people say that and it pisses me off because it's dismissive and offensive.

    Like, did I choose to be gay today because it's cool or somethin'? And then I wake up the next morning and I decide I'll be straight because it's a new trend?

    It doesn't make any sense. My sexuality is part of my identity and is not a trend

    I think people are not comfortable with the topic so they say random things like that. The visibility of the community is higher so it looks like more people are gay - which is probably why they say that.
     
  9. kyle 1

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  10. Alex94

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    100% agree with this, couldn't have said it any better.
     
  11. speedracing22

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  12. NickD

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    I think the trend is that being gay is more acceptable in modern times, and thus more homosexuals feel comfortable coming out in a modern society. I think now a days more of us feel comfortable to reveal ourselves to society without fear of discrimination, I dunno, food for thought.
     
  13. BudderMC

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    100% this.

    Though, from my limited knowledge of what your mom's said/done before to you, I feel like this is her prodding at you to "not be gay" (bargaining stage?), if she still suspects like we all thought she did before. As for your friend, I dunno.
     
  14. sguyc

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    Well there really is know way to know whether there were more gay people around in the past, because there are no statistics. We certainly know that regardless of how many were around in the past (including like 40 years ago) the vast majority majority did not tell very many people or anyone at all making it seem like there were no homosexuals around.

    Another thing that I believe to be true is that todays generation and successive generations are continually breaking down gender roles. Its more normal now to be a hard working agressive woman than it was in the past. Its also more normal to be feminine as a guy. Just to name a few stereotpyes/gender roles w/e you want to call them. Its possible that many people who have little experience with todays generation could perceive many people who don't display traditional muscline and feminine characteristics as having "gay" characteristics and thus it becomes a trend in their eyes.

    The point however is that its not a trend.
     
  15. needshelp

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    was trying to find the right words to say but you said everything i wanted to say.

    like seriously, i didn't wake up in the morning and said that "i'm gay". it took me years to come around to it and it hurt a lot. it took a lot of energy, time and etc out of my life too. hell, it took a lot out of me to even bring up the whole entire issue of possibly being gay to someone. i couldn't even bring myself to ask "am i gay" yet alone write it in my journal. so for someone to say that it's trendy to be gay nowadays is a slap in my face. it's almost like telling me to go back to doing what i was doing in regards to ignoring my feelings, being in denial, and forcing myself to be romantically interested in females. just because they jumped out the closet early on in life doesn't mean anything at all. as you can see, that's why this website exist because it certainly isn't easy being gay even if you're out and about.
     
    #15 needshelp, Apr 19, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2012
  16. Vesper

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    I hope that no one thinks that being gay is a trendy thing to try out, because a)it's always been around, though it's only recently become much more visible; b)it's not a choice; and c)it's not easy.
     
  17. Filip

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    Well, if there is a trend, it's for gay people to come out instead of stay in the closet. That doesn't change the fact that they are really gay, however.

    I think your mom's opinion is just a textbook case of combined denial/bargaining. In short: shell accept you being gay in the end, but not before exhausting all other options first.

    It's not really uncommon for parents to have that reaction, though. They obviously had various expectations of how you'd turn out, and hoped you'd be happy, and in none of those scenarios did you turn out gay. You can't even really blame them: your parents are straight. That obviously worked out well enough for them, so they can't help but imagine that being straight is part of the road to success. They will probably discover that it isn't the only way to be happy, but accepting that takes time.

    So: don't see it as anything but denial and bargaining. Don't even go into big arguments about it. Just keep up being yourself, and they'll eventually discover that it isn't just a fad you subscribed to.
     
  18. SFSorrow

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    Just wondering, as it is often said that there is a spectrum of sexuality with most people being somewhere in the middle, even if they trend one way, surely it logically follows that a significant proportion of these girls are in fact a bit bi, even if not to any great degree? Not that I necessarily agree with them doing it just to get a guys attention, but still.

    I have one friend who says he wishes he was bi to a degree, as he feels like he's missing out in some way, but he's resolutely straight (even though his mannerisms might be misleading). I think in young, liberal circles it seems to be thought quite well of to be open to the possibilty, and whether it's just a trend or people are more willing to be honest that they're a bit flexible I don't think it's such a bad state of affairs.
     
  19. jimL

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    I think it's total BS. I agree with others. It is soooo much easier to come out now because people are way less subjected to anti-gay propaganda, bullying, embarrassment and harassment. It's no longer thought of as a disease. Dam, if it is a disease then I better go home from work cuz I'm really sick! Lol!