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Ouch it hurts

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Mercy, Apr 19, 2012.

  1. Mercy

    Mercy Guest

    wow im so hurt why would she turn around n hate me because im gay :frowning2:
    i thought she loved me
     
  2. MommaFrog

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    What happened????
     
  3. Mercy

    Mercy Guest

    a friend of mine whom i was very close with said some nasty ( insert swear word here ) things to me yesterday and im so mad n hurt . Just because im gay we cant talk cause her other buds will think shes a les too . They will hate her so now she hates me
     
  4. MommaFrog

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    Um can't you be like "Yeah I'm gay but talking to me dosn't make YOU gay..." and assure her your not into her like tht?
     
  5. Mercy

    Mercy Guest

    i did a year ago

    ---------- Post added 19th Apr 2012 at 07:51 AM ----------

    anmd she knows im Dateing right now
     
  6. Curly

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    (*hug*) awww ... I guess she just isn't confident enough or secure in herself, to be able to handle being questioned about her "straight-ness". I'm sorry you have to go through that. Hopefully she will grow up and know that she was in the wrong.
     
  7. Mercy

    Mercy Guest

    Yeah i agree with that thank you for the support
     
  8. silverhalo

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    Its tough, thats a really cruel thing and I shall send you some (*hug*)s, but you deserve better than her and you will get better friends than her who will support you, no matter what.
     
  9. Valyrian

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    This.

    If she can't accept you for who you are, then she never TRULY was your friend from the very beginning.

    I'm having a VERY VERY hard time also telling one more friend (already 8 know about me) that i'm gay because of his age (he's 17) although he's quite mature for his age..i don't want to risk it. He's acting a bit homophobic himself although he can't justify the reason he actually does that. He just dislikes gays, lol. But the weird thing is he's hugging me and kissing me (cheek!), touching my butt and all, yet he hates gays! Wtf, you tell me!

    anyways, get yourself some friends that really like you for who you are and not because of your sexual preferances. (*hug*) (*hug*)
     
  10. NickD

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    I'm so sorry to hear that, it sucks when things don't go as expected. But know that being true to yourself is what really matters here, and how people react is their problem and not yours.
     
  11. TyRawr

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    Im really sorry, and I know exactly how must feel, it really made me feel really small and useless when my friends did that.

    That sounds like a friend that you are better without. Your sexuality isnt something to be ashamed of, and you friend sounds very insecure, otherwise she wouldn't have used shame to make herself look better. And often times people are judgmental because of some insecurity they are having in themselves. You know you are gay, and you have probably spending allot of time learning who you are (as most gay people have to) and she probably hasn't had to go through allot of self work to find who she is. That probably makes her subconsciously feel really insignificant in comparison.

    Saying you cant be friends with someone because they are gay is equivalent to saying you cant be friends because they are a girl, or fat, or old or whatever.

    I know this is probably really difficult for you right now, but try and move on from her, she is someone you are going to look back on later in life and be soooo much happier without.


    Sending much love,
     
  12. Zaio

    Zaio Guest

    Sorry to hear about this.

    Just make sure you understand you have done NOTHING wrong, SHE is the one being unreasonable and bigoted. Oh well, her loss, if she feels this way she doesn't deserve you as a friend!
     
  13. Fugs

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    Oh dear :frowning2: *squeezy hugs* It's pretty obnoxious how she's acting towards you. None of this is your fault, remember that. Any problem anyone else has is their own damned fault and their own damned problem.
     
  14. Mercy

    Mercy Guest

    now she really hates me :frowning2: she said she regretted being my friend
     
  15. TyRawr

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    Again she sounds like she is projecting on you. She is insecure about something in her life, and is attacking what is easiest. Keep telling yourself that you are a good person, you do good things, and you deserve good things.

    One of my favorite quotes is:

    “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
    ~Brene Brown.

    You were vulnerable and got hurt, and that is what makes us fearful for connection (shameful). Let her ignorance and small-mindedness consume herself, however, dont let her get away with what she has done to you. If she ever apologizes, say thank you and move on, because you are so much better then her petty approval.

    Sorry again,
     
  16. Mercy

    Mercy Guest

    its gunna be hard ...but i know i can forgive her some day
     
  17. Pret Allez

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    Wow, I am really sorry that's happening. It sounds like she's more worried about her own status than you as a friend, and that really hurts. Stay strong. :frowning2:
     
  18. JiminyJordy

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    Mercy, remember that friends come and go. Don't let it hurt your character as a whole. Everyone can relate to you with this matter on some level.

    It sounds like you have a big heart cuz you're saddened by your friend's actions. Don't let it damage your heart or ruin your day, not even one bit.