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Friendships and Social Anxiety

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Atticus, Apr 19, 2012.

  1. Atticus

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    Hello, guys. So, I have severe anxiety which seems to centralize around social aspects (I have not been officially diagnosed with social anxiety disorder or general anxiety, but my last therapist had a very strong suspicion that this was the case, as does my current counselor) and no friends. Well, I have a handful, but I don't like any of them. At all. I live two hours from home for school, so when I go back home, I don't have any friends there either. I would like to be able to go out and about with more than just my dog, dad, mom, or stepmom. I just don't know what to do. I've never been happy with any "friends" that I have been able to make, except for the ones I have only met on the Internet and not even always then. I'm a sophomore in college. I should be comfortable leaving my dorm room and at home I should be able to call up friends and go out. But I can't.

    I guess I'm just looking for tips on how to move into the social world without having to have a panic attack. If any of you have the same sort of problem and have overcome, that would be great. Any advice would be swell. Thanks.
     
  2. TyRawr

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    well first of all I think that EC is a great place to learn to connect. Perhaps you could try taking an art class at a local college or studio somewhere, or try learning something new with a group of people. Thats a fairly safe place to connect with people. If you think about it, they are all there and dont know anyone else that is going to be there, and they are probably just as nervous as you are when it comes to trying something new and making new friends.

    :grin: If I were there I would try and be your friend
     
  3. dreamcatcher

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    I have social anxiety with strong avpd symptoms. Something I've learned is to try to do something that you really enjoy. Like join an activity or club that you like as it will give you a common interest. Also take deep breaths and tell yourself in your head that people aren't judging you at all. All that anxiety you feel... is in your head. It isn't real and a lot of people won't event notice your physical symptoms, but you will because you're so caught up in it. I learned this in my support group, that most of the time people don't even notice our anxiety or how we feel in our head. I would definitely recommend going to a support group for people with social anxiety. I found it to be really helpful. It definitely gave me some perspective and it helped me realize how faulty a lot of my thinking could be sometimes. If your college has one, you should definitely try it. You're gonna feel some mega anxiety if you go the first time, but afterwards, it will pay off.

    I can't say I've really overcome my problems yet as I still don't have any close friends and I'm a junior in college. My weekends are pretty much like yours where I don't do much and I just hang with my family. I joined an lgbt group and once a week, I hang with them. They're still not my friends but I'm trying. Lgbt groups are definitely a lot more welcoming than other groups I feel, so you could try that. I think writing on EC has helped me a lot too. A long time ago, I used to even avoid online forums because I was so afraid of people getting to know me. The process is a long one but you can definitely get better. If you need any more advice/support, just lemme know :slight_smile:
     
  4. Atticus

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    Thanks, dreamcatcher. That is a really good idea. The semester is coming to a close (two weeks, yes!) but I'll ask my counselor about it today and see if there are any support groups that I could attend next semester. I'm working two full time jobs this summer so I won't be able to do anything then. As far as the lgbt group, I am involved with my school's GSA but, like you, I'm not too close to anyone there yet.

    TyRawr, thanks for your input. I am a full-time student so I'm always in the position meet other students, but I just have no idea how to make myself swallow my anxiety and talk to people. It's scary. I do agree, though, that EC is a good place to kind of, I dunno, ease into imitations of social life.