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How to Bring it Up...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by fireworks, Apr 20, 2012.

  1. fireworks

    fireworks Guest

    Yeah, so I need to tell my brother before I tell my mum, and I HAVE to tell her tonight (don't really have any other chances) so I'm running out of time! Umm, I'm not really worried about his reaction or anything.. it's just, I can't seem to bring the topic up. It's annoying, because this topic usually comes up ALL the time.. and now when I want it to, it won't! URGHH!

    :bang:

    Help me!
     
  2. TyRawr

    Board Member Full Member

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    Gay is always the hardest word to say when trying to come out. Try asking the question: ____ how would you feel if I was not straight? or something like that. Thats how I ended coming out to my mom.
     
  3. Just do it? "Hey brother, I wanna talk to you" And then go! Good luck!!
     
  4. fireworks

    fireworks Guest

    Thank you, that really helps! But how would I get to that sentence? I don''t want to spring it up out of the blue...
     
  5. Actually, I like this. I might steal this idea and use it when I get around to it.
     
  6. JRNagoya

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    That's the hard thing about coming out is waiting for the right moment. Unfortunately, there really never is a right or perfect moment. Sometimes you have to do that on your own. You may just have to go up to your brother, tap him on the shoulder, and tell him you have something on your mind that you need to talk about, and then guide him to a private spot or empty room. That should clue him in that you're bringing up something private.

    What helped for me is having my most important points I wanted to talk about in mind before the conversation. This may include any or none of the following: "This is who I am." "I've thought about this for a long time." "I do not want our relationship to change, only to get better." "I trust and love you enough to tell you something important about me." "Will you be there for me when I tell mom?"

    You've probably built up a good deal of steam as you've worried and gnawed this issue to the bone. Go with that. You'll have to take the bull by the horns and get it done. If not, the agony of waiting and the impatience of having a too-big-of-a-secret can weigh you down. This'll be a very important lesson for you stemming from your coming out. Sometimes you just have to make the opportunity, rather than wait for it. I hope it all goes well for you.
     
  7. fireworks

    fireworks Guest

    Thank you so much for that.... I guess I just have to seize the day.. Carpe Diem, I guess ;D
     
  8. Leora

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    ...Wow, story of my life. :l
    Good luck to you. <3
     
  9. TyRawr

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    Getting to that sentence may not happen easily. It may be something where you have to bring up the topic of discussion. Its hard, but trust me thats the worst part, once you are out it is a huge weight off your shoulders.
     
  10. BudderMC

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    Wait for a lull in the conversation, where both people are waiting for the next person to say something:

    You: Question!
    Them: Answer!
    You: How would you feel if I wasn't straight?

    And then in carries on from there. The trick is you just gotta confidently exclaim the first line, so they're caught off guard and not expecting something super-serious. I can see myself using this actually :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Good luck!
     
  11. fireworks

    fireworks Guest

    Hahaha, it's already done,but I so should have done that.
     
  12. TyRawr

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    CONGRATULATIONS! So happy for you! Do you feel any better?