When I stepped into this gay world I met him. We quickly fell for each other and within a month we were dating. I slept over at his house almost every night, and between our long weekends together and the gay socials, I was thrown right into the mix of the gay scene here in this city meeting politicians and fashion designers alike. Things started to go sour when he stopped answering my phone calls, and decided he wanted space. I gave him exactly that, but after day 4 and not a single text from him I got worried. I finally heard from him and we went out. He got drunk and became very condescending towards me when I was trying to watch a show on stage and play pool at the same time snapping his fingers in my face saying, "Do you know what 2+2 is?" I got mad at him and called him an asshole and walked away. He came up to me ten minutes later and told me he is an asshole and he is sorry, I told him he is not an asshole, and to please cut back on his drinking. The following day I promised him I would stop smoking cigarettes if he stops drinking. He hates the fact that I smoke. I warned him I would not be myself for a couple of days, but he said he didn't care and it was alright. The next day, like clockwork I was not myself and didn't say much of anything. Eventually he got fed up and told me to leave his house. I did. Before I left one of his roomates (who is a drama starter) told me to "watch out because your boyfriend and my boyfriend used to date". I ignored the sentiments and headed home. The next three days, no phone call or text. Finally the day of the social came around and I blew his phone up trying to get a hold of him. Finally someone I don't even know answered and told me he was in the hot tub with a bunch of guys. I flipped out and went all the way to the party. My boyfriend was asleep in his bed. I told him about what the drama starter said and he told me he did not care. He said he didn't appreciate the fact that I blew up his phone all day, and that he is "Being selfish" with his life right now. I got angry and told him that if he is selfish, then I am going to make it easy for him, and I broke up with him. All day long I have been trying to find a way to win him back. He is a great guy and I don't know why he turned on me so quickly. I don't think he doesn't want to be with me, because even during the fights he still showed me affection. He woke me up in the mornings with breakfast. He kissed me gently. He took walks with me. He held my hand in public. I was going to introduce him to my mother. He was near perfection . . . I miss him dearly. What should I do? :bang: :tears:
Honestly, even though you say he's a great guy, and he seems to do these nice things, well... let's just say it's easier to feign being nice for apology's sake rather than to feign being an asshole for whatever reason. I'm not doubting he's a good guy. Only you can really answer that though. But from what you're telling us, he seems like he has his best interests in mind at this point of his life, and it just doesn't seem to include you. It's harsh, but remember: actions speak louder than words. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Etc. etc. And, if he's near perfection, you wouldn't be having this much conflict in such a short period of time. :/
Maybe I just find it confusing as to why he was introducing me to all these people as "Future husband material" and showering me with all this affection when at the end of the day he didn't mean it. I'm just confused . . . . I remember he kept telling me, "I have issues, I am not ok upstairs." Maybe he was right. I just remember telling him, "I am here for you no matter what is going on. That's what I am here for to help you." But he didn't seem to want my help.
well, maybe my story will help? i was not interested in dating, now i know why, but this person had shown interest in several aspects of me, what i do, and seemed fun, liked outdoors stuff. i actually thought about dating just to see what this would be like though i knew it couldn't be forever, i didn't feel it. but they asked to go places, dancing! wow. and wanted to meet my parents and friends. something told me not to introduce to mom, though it would have thrilled her to see me on a date. but i made a mistake and introduced to my best friends. one day, selfishly they did something that was not the norm for any couple, and i texted several times why they disappear while i was using the restroom! oh i am home they text back finally. i was pissed! i could feel a change in them. words that they still wanted to date me were opposite body language, and their constant chat and texts stopped. they tried to say to me and my friends i am wrong and misunderstand. nope! they really figured out i was not going to bang them anytime soon, and did it instead with one of my friends. they are dating now, kinda, i know when bored they will move on. i am glad i did not have sex, as i would be really messed up. but i feel betrayed. my best buddy and me are not as close, they did apologize, but still... yeah sometimes when they come on hot and strong watch yourself, they will bore fast too.
