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How do I tell my mum I'm gay?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by BajanBoy13, Apr 21, 2012.

  1. BajanBoy13

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    So yeah,I really want to come out to my mum cuz I know she will understand and I suspect she has an idea that I'm gay.

    Anyone have any advice?

    Thanks,

    Charles
     
  2. sanguine

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    i honestly dont know if there is a right answer for this, for me it was more of a do it now kind of thing, ive read from other posters that they have given their parents letters which can help.

    if you anything like me (suggest you dont do it if your not ready) just say it after the count of 10.
     
  3. Pain

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    If you know she will understand, then just try to tell her in a conversation. Bring it up and just say, "Mum, can I talk to you ('in private,' if it can apply)?" And don't seem all sad or negative when you do it; make sure you're n a good mood :slight_smile: Hope it helps a little
     
  4. jp2012

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    So, looking at your age, I assume you still live at home... I'd suggest finding a time when you and your mom can be alone in the house... maybe watching a movie at home or something. Pause it and tell her... if you think she will be fine with it you should be fine. I kinda did this last night. It was turned out pretty good.

    Hope things go good!
     
  5. BajanBoy13

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    Thanks,I'm thinking of telling her when she drops me to school,when I get out of the car so I can just like run away...probally not the best idea but still.
     
  6. sanguine

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    LOL i like the way you think, very creative, and dont worry, if your mum suspects (i personally think every parent should atleast wonder) than the worst she is gonna do is tell you that you are too young/havent been with a girl to know or just say your confused, thats what my dad said, it was surprising too cause i thought he was just gonna straight out reject me
     
  7. BajanBoy13

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    HMM i think that she knows that im independent and wouldn't tell her if is wasn't sure but no one knows how parents think :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Me personally would never tell my dad i have NO idea how he would react. :s
     
  8. NickD

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    I know for me, I waited to tell my mom until I knew we would be together for awhile so we could discuss it. BUT, at that point I had trouble using the word "gay." (Not now of course), but the way I came out to both of my parents was saying "I'm not attracted to women, but to men." It sounds a little childish, but it allowed me to state my feelings implicitly without lying, but they figured it out... I felt like I owed it to both of them to be allowed questions (although I must admit, I knew they would both be okay with it and I wanted to let them ask any questions they may have had).

    But, no story is the same as the next, so just do what feels right. Believe me, you'll know when the time comes....
     
  9. Ianthe

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    EC has a collection of coming out support materials, which are all linked to on the Resources page. This includes a section with general information about coming out, coming out stories, and examples of coming out letters.

    I think it's fine to tell your mom when she takes you to school, but please, don't do it while the car is moving.

    Don't be surprised if she doesn't let you just walk away though: it's possible she will want to talk right then.

    You could also write her a letter and give it to her then, saying that you'll talk about it later that evening if she wants. That might help you get past the difficulty of saying it out loud if you freeze up. It will also allow you to really get out everything you want to say, and give your mother a chance to really think about it before she responds. Sometimes, a parent's immediate reaction can be something they end up regretting.

    Make sure she knows that you are telling her because you love her and you want her to really know you. You don't want lies and secrets to get in the way of you being close to each other.

    How do you imagine she will respond?
     
  10. Loras

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    Really dosnt sound like a good idea! When i told my mum she started crying which made me a little bit teary eyed and you probably wouldnt want that at the start of school. and also i told my mum i was thinking about a letter and she said that would be horrible because she wouldnt be able to discuss it which would be the same situation if u just ran away afterwards.
     
  11. BajanBoy13

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    Yeah I didn't really think that one through :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: