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Lonely

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by nooneknows, Apr 21, 2012.

  1. nooneknows

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    About 3 months ago I had decided to come out to everyone. Taking it one day at a time and possibly one person at a time. I came out to 2 people and stopped there. I came across this site and really loved reading everyone's stories. But after reading so many I now feel alone ... I don't know if that makes any sense. I read about people being in relationships and there's nothing that I want more. I am happy for all the people that have found a person to be with. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night like tonight and just feel alone. Felt like writing it down ... maybe even make myself feel better by letting it out and having people read it.
     
  2. Nightmaric

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    I know exactly how you feel. Although I'm still in the closet, pretty deep. I feel that way all the time. Especially when aloof your friends get the privilege of having relationships so easily and then complaining to me when they sour. But, that's another story for another day.
     
  3. nooneknows

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    It sucks ... what bothers me the most is that I'm not completely out of the closet ... I came close but I feel like I'm back to where I started. Also ... guys keep asking me out on dates and I used to just go with the flow and try it with them now I just say no every time because I know I'm not interested. I tell my friends I get lonely and they tell me it's my fault that I blow ppl off that want to date me ... sadly they don't know that the next person I want to be with will be a girl.. I have the chance to date guys but I don't want too and I just wish there were more chances for me to date a girl for once. And not feel randomly lonely in the middle of the night. And knowing other ppl like u feel the same way kinda sucks too : [
     
  4. Nightmaric

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    It the exact same thing for me with girls. Girls love me, like I let them feel me up, and flirt (but not really flirt) with them. I just like having fun. And since I get no attention from guys I go for girls. It's frustrating cause people keep trying to set me up. It's like we have the exact same problem only we are opposite genders. Funny how that works out. We could be the perfect beard couple.
     
  5. nooneknows

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    hahaha that made laugh ! i feel much better knowing i'm not alone : ]
     
  6. Nightmaric

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    Well, I guess that's the beauty of the site. We all have similar issues and we can all commiserate with each other when we are going through rough patches. I've been on a loneliness streak or (my favorite term for it) Forecer Alone streak since around last summer. So it is something that I think gets better the more you get out of the closet.
     
  7. nooneknows

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    Okay that's a little creepy because for me this whole sad and lonely situation also started last summer ... when I realized I fell for my best friend actually. I'm hoping you're right and it does get better....
     
  8. Nightmaric

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    It does, and at least you fell for a friend. I've been crushing on a guy I don't know or even like on a friendship level. I suppose that could make it harder though and the friendship more awkward.
     
  9. nooneknows

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    can we switch ?! i much rather have a crush on someone i barely know than on my best friend that txts me everyday telling me they love and care about me and how great of a friend i am for them : [ she doesn't know how much i love her and i know once i tell her everything will change... so i'm keeping it in.. for her . i'm hoping that if i find someone that will actually love me for real ... i'll be able to forget how much i care about her. Is the guy u have a crush on gay ?
     
  10. nicecoolguy

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    Yep, I want a relationship too, and even just a good friend would be nice. I guess that's one drawback of attending an out-of-state college--I left all of my friends behind. And on top of that, I've been unemployed since graduation, and other issues too which have made finding genuine friends quite difficult. I went out tonight, and even though I didn't technically meet anyone, it was just nice to be among others, of course there were LOTS of couples there, so yeah lol. But I think I handled it pretty well, and had fun too. I sometimes feel like I'm living in an antisocial bubble, which is horrible because I like to be social and among others.
     
  11. nooneknows

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    I understand how you feel ... the whole feeling of being antisocial yet loving to be around people at the same time. I'm glad u had fun tonight tho : ] congrats on handling it well. It's hard sometimes.
     
  12. Nightmaric

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    Nah, mine is straight. Or at least he could be gay, he does some questionable things and I've caught him staring at me once or twice. But, I think I'm just reading into everything too much.
     
  13. Robertm8

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    Hey nooneknows I know this doesn't link into what your saying but if you like your friend and if you want to ask her out or at least tell her you like her you should just link her to this page and then she can read the things you've said about her and how you don't want to hurt her.just saying
     
  14. Noir

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    I can also relate, don't worry about it. (*hug*) You're not weird or alone or anything like that! There are lots of teens who feel the way you do, some of my friends included! I'm only out to enough people to count on one hand, and I recently had to convince myself to give up on one of my closest and longest friends because I know she could never give me what I need. It sometimes seems like it would definitely be possible if we stopped beating around the bush (she's bicurious, she's told me), but it's just too dificult for me. And she's always getting a new boyfriend who doesn't appreciate her. :dry:

    I think that one day you'll meet someone who will make up your mind for you, guy or girl, and it won't matter who you love then as long as you're happy, you know? I wouldn't worry about labeling yourself so much, you'll just know one day. I wish you luck! :slight_smile:
     
  15. IvoryKate

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    Ugh, I know exactly how you feel! I'm so in love with my best friend. Ambiguity hurts so much. You know how you feel, and you try to hard to communicate that to them without making them uncomfortable or hurting them, but in the end, you just end up hurting more because you don't know if things will ever change. :frowning2: It sucks.
     
  16. nooneknows

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    I suggest being very careful ... trust me reading into it too much may hurt finding out that he isn't gay : \ he might be but be careful .. : ]

    ---------- Post added 22nd Apr 2012 at 06:06 PM ----------


    I love my friend ... but sadly she's straight and it would just make everything awkward bringing up my feelings for her ..

    ---------- Post added 22nd Apr 2012 at 06:11 PM ----------

    I'm sorry you have to go through that with ur friend. I feel for u and it sucks that's she could really be with u because she isn't sure about herself. It really sucks : \

    But thank u : ] ur message made me smile and feel a lot better : ]

    ---------- Post added 22nd Apr 2012 at 06:15 PM ----------

    it does suck .... is the girl ur in love with straight ? i know it hurts a lot more when they are cause there's nothing u can do. I know there's the option of creating distance ... but how do i do that without an explanation to my best friend who doesn't know i'm closeted. Plus i don't want too ... i love her and besides that she is my best friend and i don't want to lose that ... they are hard to find.
     
  17. nicecoolguy

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    Thanks. Yeah it can be tough, especially since I don't get out as much as I'd like, but I'm trying to change that.
     
  18. Nightmaric

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    OH believe me when I say I don't want to feel that way towards him. I've kinda accepted that he isn't and I'm not hurt but I'm disappointed in myself for being that pathetic towards the situation. It's been two years... I try and just wait for his graduation.
     
  19. stumble along

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    first off i love the coelecanth, and second, i aggree with everyone here, being lonely sucks, i have awesome friends but i have yet to do anything even remotely close to deviant and finding someone just sucks. i turned off girls after a crush rejected me, and ill probably do the same with guys after my current crush rejects me, or switch back to girls, or whatever.
    youd think having no preference would make things easier -_-
     
  20. unknownerror

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    just want to point out that we don't only commiserate here we celebrate too :slight_smile:

    It doesn't have to be all doom & gloom :wink:

    though I sure understand where that comes from

    (*hug*) for everyone :icon_bigg